isang kanta // isang storya

Dance with my father // Danielle

"This heart has survived without his love. This heart doesn't need his love anymore. It's already late for him."

Date: May 11, 2030

Song: Dance with my Father

Name: Danielle delos Reyes

Blood Type: O (+)

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[ back when I was a child, before life removed all the innocence ]

I have lived without him. I have felt my family is totally complete without him. There are no regrets in my decisions na hindi na siya hanapin at wag na ulit siyang kulitin na balikan kami. Nakapag-aral ako sa elementary hanggang college ng wala siya. Nakaramdam ako ng heartaches and mindaches ng hindi niya alam.
So it's no use na bumalik pa siya. Maayos na ang buhay ko mas maayos pa sa buhay niya ngayon.

Pero sh*t lang naman talaga. Nagpakita pa ulit.

[ my father would lift me high, and danced with my mother and me and then ]

I used to ask myself before if how was it like to have a father—dad to be by your side. Pero ni-minsan hindi ko ito naramdaman. At okay lang naman yun sakin. I accepted the fact that my father is a constant douche and it will never change. Kahit na nagpakita pa siya samin ngayon.

[ spin me around 'til I fell asleep and up the stairs he would carry me ]

Pero nang makita ko ulit siya.

Hatred

Ayan agad ang unang pumasok sa isip ko.

Naiintindihan ko naman kung bakit gusto niya akong ipalaglag dati dahil college pa lang sila ng gahasain niya ang mama ko.

Why would I consider him my father? Hindi naman siya deserving sa 'title' na yun.

"D-danielle, p-patawarin m-mo a-ako."

Wow. Very good acting skills for him. Ngayon kasi, nalugi na ang business niyang isa palang malaking scam.

Ang dating millionaire at considered broke na ngayon.

At ako ngayon ang may pera.

[ and I knew for sure, I was loved ]

Mabuti nalang at hindi ko kasama si Mama ngayon dahil makakatanggap siya ng isang malakas na sampal.

"Danielle, I know. I am such a jerk not to consider you as my daughter."

"I know. Don't worry, I don't regret not having a father like you." I laugh at him. Halos maiyak ang itsura niya ngayon at hindi ko na alam ang nararamdaman ko.

Gusto kong umiyak sa harapan niya. Gusto ko siyang sumbatan. Sa mga kagaguhan niya.

Bakit kasi ngayon pa siya humihingi ng tawad kung kelan may taning na ang buhay niya? Why would he even ask for forgiveness when he is already on his deathbed?

[ if I could get another chance, another walk, another dance with him ]

Biglang pumasok si Clyde—half brother ko na isang taon lang ang tanda ko sa kanya.

"It looks like your REAL family is already here. Bye–" I bite my lower lip to avoid myself from crying.

Iniwasan kong tumingin kay Clyde.

Stupid Danielle. Hindi ka parin pala marunong mag-control ng feelings mo.

[ i'd play a song that would never never end ]

"Wait, ATE Danielle, Dad still wants to talk to you." biglang hinawakan ni Clyde yung braso ko.

Hmm. He even states ATE to me.

Mabuti pa ang pamilya ni Clyde. Nagkaroon at naranasan ang isang buong pamilya.

"Fine." I brace myself not to cry. Humarap na ako sa kanya.

"Sorry anak. Sorry." I can see his pleading eyes begging for forgiveness.

I take his hands and slightly hold it.

[ how i'd love, love, love, ]

"You are already forgiven. Actually I'm thankful because you made me. Thank you for being my biological father."

[ to dance with my father again ]

Lumabas na ako sa ICU room niya at tumakbo paalis.

Nawala na rin ang tinik sa puso ko. Sana matahimik na siya pati ang konsensya niya.

[ ... Every night I fall asleep, this is all I ever dream ]