isang kanta // isang storya

A Place In This World // Eris

"This heart doesn't know what to do. So she explores and finds the truth."

[ I don't know what I want, so don't ask me ]

Do I have a heart? Or did I really have a heart before? I find life as a very complicated one. Because of its complications, I start to play along.

[ Cause Im still trying to figure out, ]

Playing with life is a similar sport to all of us. I tried playing active sports, but I didn't found myself in there.

Playing with life is similar in computer games. I tried playing computer games but, it didn't suit my interest.

Playing my life is similar in dancing a classical rock music. I can play it hard but I can play it soft. I can dance it aggresively yet with passion. STILL. I quited dancing.

[ Don't know what's down the road, I'm just walking ]

I grew up in a rich family. We don't care about the little things in life. We can buy everything we can afford. We get what we want and everything can be exactly in our hands.

So here I am now, bearing this stupid game and making the things incredibly crazy and lovely. Here I am now, still don't know the meaning why I am here in this darn pathetic and chaotic world.

Riches can't buy happiness–NOT for me.

Being in the mid-class of the society can't give me happiness neither.

[ Trying to see through the rain coming down, Even though I'm not the only one, ]

Am I the only one feeling this way? I don't think so.

[ Who feels the way I do? ]

I walk around the road, not worrying about the things in life that matters the most. I just worry about my food—my dinner. So I went down to the nearest store of Mcdonald's.

As the guard opens the door for me, I smile widely. But there is no happiness at all. The feelings I have are depressing, sickening and heavy.

[ I'm all alone, on my own, that's all I know ]

"Good morning ma'am" the staffs greet me with their smiles. Those smiles that are not supposed to be true.

"Ma'am! You won a free order of Pancakes! Thank you for visiting our store!"

I grin with the thought that there is a freebie going on. Why didn't I hear it a while ago?

[ I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh but life goes on ]

My pancake is already served but I haven't eaten it because of the note that make me laugh like hell.

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"Have Faith, you are where you are supposed to be." ;)

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Oh really? I didn't expect that to happen right now. How can I be at the place where I have to be? Is this a sign that I'm already at my perfect destination where everything will be perfect?

[ Oh I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in this world, got the radio on, my old blue jeans ]

*Kriiiiiiiiing* *Kriiiiiiiing*

I get back to my senses as soon as my phone rang.

( Eris! Tell me why are you doing this?!)

It's his voice. I knew it.

"What do you mean?"

I act so naive because seriously, I told him before that I am not serious in our relationshit. And I still don't.

[ Im wearing my heart on my sleeve, feeling lucky today, got the sunshine ]

( This game!  Why are you playing with my damn feelings?!)

How come he acted so angry? Ugh. Boys are complicated tho. -_-

[ Could you tell me what more do I need, and tomorrow is just a mystery, oh yeah ]

"Eh? Because we are also damned?"

I feel empathy in the way he reacted but that's it. This relationshit is not going further than what we expected. I'm sick of this and I think I prefer being single again.

[ But that's okay ]

I held up the phone and start to focus eating my cold pancakes. I pour the maple syrup and put some butter on it. It looks delicious.

When the cold pancake touches my tastebuds, there are certain sparks I feel. But not really satisfied with it.

[ Maybe, I'm just a girl on a mission, But I'm ready to fly ]

I heard some knocks at my window and I saw a boy standing outside the glass window–directly looking at my pancakes.

That is the first time I felt the empathy. That is the first time I felt the sparks.

[ I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh but life goes on ]

I beckon the boy to go inside the store so he beams at me and follows my order.

Unfortunately, the guard, named Aspen, don't let the boy in.

I stand up and go to the door of the Mcdonald's.

"Let him in. He is also hungry. Hungrier than you ever thought." I said with a commanding voice. There is a slight silence in the people around. Looking at my appearance, Aspen let the poor boy go inside.

[ Oh, I'm all alone, on my own, and that's all I know ]

I let the boy sit on the vacant chair and when I gave him the permission to eat. He has eaten it slowly, while closing his eyes.

His eyes are filled with tears. He drinks the hot choco I ordered.

This is the first time I saw someone look at a food so precious–so golden.

My watch rang. It's my time to go to school. I bid my goodbye to the boy and he is very thankful for the food. He said that he haven't eaten for 2 days and I am an angel sent from above.

[ Oh I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in this world ]

This is the first time my heart melted.

This is the first time I realize that life is complicated but if you want it to have a meaning.

Have faith.

[ Oh, I'm all alone, on my own, and that's all I know ]

I went to school with a wide smile in my face. Now I realize that I'm just a girl that can have a sense of purpose.

I realize that I'm a girl with a beating heart. I have a heart. And I'm willing to devote this heart to the needy, to the poor, and to the people who haven't yet found their purpose.

I'm just a girl. The typical girl who just have found her sense of purpose.

[ Oh, I'm just a girl. ]