Reasons to Fall

Grief

       I washed my face and exited the bathroom leaving my regrets washed away with the water  down the sink. Walking through the empty hallway, it reminded me of who I am. Empty. I sighed and make my way to lunch. I can't believe I've missed 3 periods already. 

         As I entered the lunchroom, the air turned silent. Everyone's looking at me. I sighed for the second time, bought my lunch and went outside, sitting down under a tree. Slowly biting my lunch, memories came flooding back again for the second time again today.

 

      I ran back home, looking frantically for my father. "dad?! dad?!" I ran into the kitchen, seeing his body lay dead on the kitchen floor with my mother, sobbing hardly, clutching his hand. My heart breaks, seeing her vulnerable while tears of my own rolled down my cheeks.

     "No, no, no, no" My mind keeps repeating while I ran towards his still body. "Dad! No, dad.No dad!" I cried out praying that it will eventually wake him up."No dad.This is a joke dad! Wake up. I promised that if you just wake up,we could play basketball, you can teach me how to fix your car and once I grew up you could watch me got a girl of my own. I swear to you she'll be the one you approve. Dad!" I ranted on and on about what could happened if he wake up.

    Sadly, the next thing I know is I'm at his funeral. Wearing a suit and tie, watching his coffin lowered into the ground. I watched, crying in inside, holding my tears. "I'll be strong dad." 

         As the flashbacks ended, I felt myself crying. I lay down on the grass, my face planted on the freshly cut grass as I cry my eyes out, letting all the grief and sorrow of a thirteen year old me who lost a man of his life not being able to see him smiling proudly at me on my weding day. 

          I felt vulnerable as I lay that. Tear stained my cheeks , my throat dry as I stare into space."Dad, mom's not here.She's unconcious. The sick man did it again dad. I'm sorry dad.He took Alice too. I couldn't do anything dad. I'm sorry dad. I wish you're here with me. We could've a man talk.i watched my friends have those kind of conversations with their father. I wished we could've done that with you. Dad, I hoped you listen to me from above.I know you would. After all, I'm your son right?" I looked up imagining him listening down to me. 

        Suddenly the rain started pouring down, I jumped up giddily. Feeling very happy, knowing that he listened  to me. I started laughing euphorically. "I love you dad! I know you'll always be listening to me from above" I shouted as I lay in the grass, letting my clothes soaked wet.The smile never leave my face knowing that my dad listens to me. I know he would. I'm his son. Lucas Mason.