Love Shots

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Oh. This must be what it feels like, huh?

To not answer those worried text messages from someone who deeply cares about me, asking if I got home safe already.

Oh. This must be what it feels like, huh?

To not say goodnight to that person who stays awake for me because I don't mind anymore if I accidentally sleep on them during midnight.

Oh. This must be what it feels like, huh?

To lie about my whereabouts and not feel guilty at all so he could stop asking questions.

Oh. This must be what it feels like, huh?

To ignore a text just because I don't feel like replying at all.

Oh. This must be what it feels like.

To be on the other side of the road. To be the person from another perspective. To be the one who breaks and not the one who's broken.

This must be what it feels like.

Oh, how sad it is. How sad that because of one person... Because of a goddamn reason... Because of you, I ended up cold and careless. That I'm no longer the one who's crying every night. That I'm no longer the one who cares too much. That I'm no longer the broken one.

This must be what it feels like.

Now I know, how you felt when you ignored my texts, asking whether you got home safe. Or how you didn't care at all when you accidentally slept on me while we were talking on some nights. Or how you didn't feel guilty when you utter those lies to me. And how you felt annoyed whenever I text you so you ignore it.

This must be what it feels like.

I'm not happy. Not even a bit. After all, who would be happy to know that you're actually breaking someone? Slowly tearing them apart with confusing actions that would make them think if you really care for them at all. It's not fun. It's not entertaining. It's not good.

This must be what it feels like.

I don't want to break someone. I don't want to be hated by someone for being a person that I used to hate. 

I don't want to be like you.

So this is what it feels like, huh.