I Don't Believe

I Don't Believe - Chp 4

"I don't know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every other part of my body is broken too." ~ Missy Altijd

The next morning getting ready for school I was conscious of what I was doing and wearing more than usual and there was a slight sense of nervousness as butterflies attacked and clouded my stomach.

Nevertheless I shook off the jittery feelings that I knew perfectly well for where they were coming from and got dressed and left the house dressed in our school uniform of our black skirt and white blouse and the rest of me rearranged and managed to be my own form of school uniform.

I left the house and sat out front by our front gate of the house with Gabby as the bus came, knowing well enough that someone needed to wait with her and I was waiting for Charley after all. Mitch was itching to leave and I kindly left him on his way as I sat with Gabby, herself gushing about what she was going to do today at the centre and how she was taking her princess Barbie and more and more.

As the bus came up on this morning Gab’s gave me a hug and ran on to catch the bus, giving me an ecstatic wave from her seat. Smiling and laughing softly back I wove to her too, feeling light in the stomach even if it was only for a few moments.

Yet as they say, all good things must come to an end.

“Hey Bay babe?” a voice called out behind me once I had crossed the road to Charley’s house.

I kept walking ignoring how much my skin crawled from the sound of his voice, how it instantly had me hunching my back and drawing in on my own body, the hair on my skin rising and the rest of my body cold and breathless. On high alert and unnerved.

“Babe, c’mon!” he protested, the sound of his car practically roaring telling me he was still there.

I spun around sharply making me dizzy “Ty just leave me the hell alone.” I hissed to my ex boyfriend.

“Come on.” He coaxed in protest, still sitting in his red car not even getting out as he leant out his window.

“Don’t Ty.” I warned through gritted teeth meaning don’t to everything; don’t talk to me, don’t text me, don’t call me, don’t look at me, don’t even breathe near me. The list just kept going on.

I spun on my feet reaching out for the gate to Charley’s house when his next words dropped me into freezing cold water, like a slap in the face “What, so I can’t love you?” he asked pointedly, smugly almost.

I spun around on the balls of my foot, looking at the boy that I had dated for three years and had literally owned my heart, the man I thought I was going to skip off into the sunset with and live happily ever after with. The boy I thought to be my prince.

He sat leaning out of his car with dirty blonde hair that looked so scruffy that I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he just rolled out of bed. His was a huge person, he towered over me and that used to make me feel safer but now it only scared me more, put me on high alert, alarm bells ringing loud and clear. He was built and muscled out greatly though too which now only frightened me more now also, he was huge and stocky, making me feel small, his body carved to a deadly perfection. Lastly there were his grey stormy eyes that used to suck me in, used to be what I loved the most and would only make me fall harder for him. Now they just screamed danger and put fear into me.

His words toyed with me, my heart and it only made my red hot rage flare greater as I whirled around stepping closer fuming “Love? Please, don’t give me that rubbish.” I spat “You, me and love will never in the same sentence together. Ever!”

I went to spin round but he opened his mouth again, speaking these words and riddles that toyed with my heart and made me out to be the ogre of all of this. “Bailey? Come on! Geez, what happened to you hot stuff?”