Affliction (Daragon)

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Month

Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko. Kung bubuksan ko ba o hindi. Sa huli ay binuksan ko ang article.

It was written there that they were making out on a Wednesday midnight inside his car right after the shooting for their upcoming film. There's still no official statement for this issue. Also, the said article was questioning our relationship. If we have broken up already because he has now Michelle Madrigal.

Now, I am asking myself if I am still his girlfriend. I know that I can remember it vividly the he is still my boyfriend. Isang linggo pa lang naman ako nandito sa Korea may ganitong issue na agad. Nakaramdam ako ng pagkirot sa gitna ng puso ko. Naramdaman ko ang sunod-sunod na pagtulo ng luha ko. Lumuha ako pero walang hikbi.

Ayaw ko muna mag conclude. Baka kasi mamaya isa lang pala tong pakana sa bago nilang movie. Who knows, right? Tama. I know this is just one of the gimmicks of the network to have a high gross income. Kaya huwag muna ako mag conclude. I wiped my tears and took a deep breath to calm myself. I trust him. Hindi niya 'to magagawa sa akin. Mahal niya ako. I know he loves me and I'll cling to that little hope I have.

Nakatulog ako sa gabing iyon na pinapaalala sa aking sarili na hindi totoo ang article ng PEP, na nireremind ko ang sarili ko na ako lang. Ako lang ang mahal nya. When I opened my eyes, I felt that my tears fell.

Naligo agad ako para hindi mapansin ni mama at Thunder ang pamamaga ng mata ko. Luckily, hindi nga nila napansin. I went to YG building feeling numb. I don't think it's a good sign. Today's my audition, yet I am not myself. I need to condition my mind.

'You can do it, Sandy! You can make it!! Seph will explain to you later that it was just a gimmick and he loves you. Smile! You are an empowered woman!' I keep telling myself. I feel like I am just fooling myself.

Napansin nila Chaera ang pagiging matamlay ko. They keep asking asking me questions, but I am not answering them. They don't know Seph and I don't think they'll understand my situation.

Then, time comes. It was my time to shine, to express myself, to show the best I've got, but I couldn't. I can't. How can I shine when my source of light isn't giving me any light, but instead he's draining me? I feel so weak. I feel so vulnerable. Right there and then, I know I will not pass my audition.

I feel like crying! How can a man, who made me feel loved, cherished and adored, break my heart like this into pieces possible? The man, who I gave my everything, my heart, my mind and my soul, waste it to nothing?

I also feel like an irresponsible daughter and sister. That audition was my last shot. Why did my inner negativity penetrate my whole being? Now, I don't know what to do anymore.