Stella, Won't You Take Me Home?

I'm Sorry

“There is not a chance in hell me and Rian are letting you stay at a hotel.” Cass stated firmly as I struggled carrying the animal carriers.

“Cass-I-ugh!” I almost dropped Pippin’s carrier but thankfully Rian caught it. Cass stood with a hand on her hip before popping open Lucifer’s cage. He skipped out and disappeared around a corner in the house. Cass smirked before turning and opening Pippin’s cage and letting her skitter in Lucifer’s direction.

“Now you can go to the guest room and set up camp or...” Cassadee trailed off trying to find a good end to her ultimatum.

“Or what?” It was my turn to smirk but it dropped as Cass grinned.

“Or we’ll call over Alex.”

I practically growled before stalking upstairs to the guest room. I quickly changed into the spare clothes I had come here originally to get when I heard voices downstairs. I crept to the edge of the staircase and listened.

 “Rian, man, I’m uh, heading back to Maryland.” I recognized the voice as Alex’s.

“Why? Have you been crying?” Cass’s voice piped in.

“It happens when I’m angry…” Alex snapped. I couldn’t help my feet as they guided me down the stairs. Alex looked appalled to see me but Cassadee’s and Rian’s faces were filled with concern. “What’s she doing here?” He spat.

 “Josh kicked me out. A few minutes after you left.” It came out strong in the beginning but my voice quieted with every syllable. I thought I saw a look of remorse flash through his eyes but I was unsure because the look was gone as fast as it came.

“You probably deserved it.” He barked and Cass’s hand made contact with his face fast and hard. She turned and stormed upstairs and Rian followed. I was left gaping at Alex as tears filled my eyes; I couldn’t help but touch the inside of my wrist as I remembered Josh demanding that I left. I nodded agreeing. Alex was probably right; I did deserve to be thrown out. I’m just a hopeless, pathetic, freak.

“I’m just a freak.” I muttered and Alex looked confused but as his eyes focused on my arms I could tell he was putting the pieces together. His eyes widened for a split second but his face returned to its seething state. We stood in our places as if in a stalemate, until Alex took a seat in Rian’s recliner. I followed suit and took a seat on the couch. We continued in silence and eventually, I was the first to speak.

“I still have your first EP.” Alex seemed confused by my choice of words. “I still listen to it sometimes… a lot… Memories That Fade like Photographs has to be my favorite song off that EP.” I was unsure why I brought this up but I carried on talking about how I enjoyed listened to all their songs until my arm brushed against the couch and pushed up the sleeve of my jumper, exposing the fresh cuts. Alex saw and his eyes softened. He stood from the recliner and sat beside me on the couch. He pushed my sleeve up cautiously. I felt something spill onto my arm and I looked up to see Alex crying silently. He looked me in the eyes and lifted my arm to his lips and kissed each cut, never breaking eye contact. By the time he finished we were both in tears.

“I’m so sorry for leaving.” I told him but he shook his head.

“I’m sorry, Stells.” He said in a raspy voice before crushing my body against his chest in a hug. He pressed his lips to my head. “I’m sorry..”