Déjà Vu

MONTANA "You Ready?" •Chapter 1•

✨ Aye You gotta stop riding me like this....the shit is gettin outta hand..... "How can I not ride You like this? You love this Shit"  I do but Shit tend to get outta hand && you kno where it ends.... "&& Where exactly is dat?"  With Yu Screaming && Crying Yu cnt take no more.... " Try Me😏"  Crush Crush?🤔.... "Crush Crush...You Ready?😏"  (The loud Screeching whines from baby cries entered through the bedroom door) Damn😒.... "Tana go Get Your Son"  Why cant you go get him?  "Becuz If I go in there he's never gonna go back to sleep, He loves starring at his beautiful Mom, But if Yu go he's just gonna lay on those lil nappy chest hairs && pass out in a few minutes😴😂" You funny huh? "Byeee Go work Your Daddy Magic && Hurry back So I can Finish the job💅🏾"  Ohhh You real funny tonite wen I get back have dat ass bent over && Prepare to cry😌  " I'll be waiting Daddy😜"  

After stepping into my son room I noticed he was wet... So after A quick change I had a Lil talk with my lil man before he drifted off to sleep...

Wossop lil Man... My lil mini me... Nah not even a mini me... I want you to be better than me.... I want you to have every opportunity that I never had... Never let anybody tell You.. You can't do anything... You can do everything. I want You to Read Everything you come across because Knowledge is power....I want you to stand ten toes strong && Protect Your Family... Put God First && Your Family Next. Make sure you take good care of Your mother && the women in yur family. && No Matter What... I want you to know Daddy always got Your Back Right or Wrong, through thick && thin... && I will always... I mean Always love you... Its nothing in this world that could ever keep us apart.... My First Born💪🏾💙✨

My Heart Was Beating Rapidly && I woke up in Cold sweats.... Wat TF is going on with Me?🤔 I had to wipe my eyes to clear the blur to make sure I was in the right place.... && I was, Karie Was laying rite next to me sound Asleep.... Im so glad I didnt wake her with this bullshit nightmare I was having... Why TF was I having sex with Victoria?🤔 Wat TF does any of this mean? I can't fcukin stand Victoria, but I miss the shit outta my son. Dat shit hurts my heart every fcukin day to not be around him... Im missing so many milestones in his life && a boy needs his father to direct him in the right path. Its Crazy because its like I had Déjà Vu I remember that same night I told my son How much I love him🤔 This shit has gone on for long enough I need to see my son && I dnt give a fcuk what it takes I just need to wrap my arms around him. I never knew I would have a love that ran so deep. I do a lot of shit I kno I dont want my son footsteps to follow in, but Im trying make shit legit so he wont ever have to worry about the shit I had to. I love my mother && I kno she did everything in her power to keep me on the straight && narrow... It was hard raising your kids by yourself while your husband is out no where to be found...my childhood wasnt the best but my mother always made sure we had the necessary... && she made sure she always had my back wether I was wrong or right... Esp wen I fcuked up... I cant thank her Enough.... But I dnt want my son to put Victoria through shit like that... I dont give a fcuk how much I cant stand her... I think its time to get in contact with her so I can arrange some shit cuz this Dream/ nightmare or wateva the fcuk it is just really Woke me Up && in more than one Way!

I couldnt even go right back to sleep... So I got out of bed, went downstairs rolled a couple of jays && turned on da Game... After thinking shit through I started to realize what the fcuk I need to do to set examples for my son... I had to Grow up... I gotta learn to chill... I gotta stop being on 100 all the time out here like Im fcukin Mad Max.... My temper needs to get better... I need to be better to the women that play a Role in my life... I need to stop being so fcukin selfish && open my mind up to new things... I kno Karie knows I love her && I fcuk with her... But At the same time I hold a lot of shit back from her... Cuz I dnt ever wanna see her hurt... I kno we both still got growing to do... Meaning together && Separately but truth be told I dnt think I ever wanna see myself with out her anymore... I love her lil zesty ass attitude && the way she just goes out her way to see me smile... Swear I'd kill a nigguh if he ever tried to come in between this😑 && thats on Everything... But even if a nigguh did I kno Karie not green enough to ever play widd me like that... Idk how the fcuk they ended up at that Gas Station that nite but it had to be God... Becuz if I never met her I would be in a whole nother state of mind rite now... She always pushes me to go hard for my son... Even though we discussed how sticky the situation is... She always says " You'll get tired of Your heart hurting one day && You'll catch a Flight" && She was absolutely rite becuz tonite was the last nite....