Déjà Vu

KARIE "How Could You?" •Chapter 33•

It was 3:37 in the morning and I was up watching my latest netflix addiction "13 Reasons why".....this show was everything to me... I laughed I cried but mostly I cried.... I was such a hard ass in real life but wen it came to my shows && movies I was such a fcukin cry baby... You would think I actually knew these people in real life the way I boo hoo'd.....rite in the middle  of my show I seen my phone bling and light up from a DM on instagram... some anonymous ass person with Avi picture of hair bundles wrote me a long paragraph. My page was not on private so its easy for anyone to send what they wanted. Before I read the paragraph I checked out the page it was nuffin on the page except for a lot of pictures of Bundles of hair and shit like that so I assumed it was someone trying to sell me something.... After reading the first five sentences of this essay I seen Montana's name..... that really alarmed me off bucks so I kept reading further and further. After reading this paragraph it was apparent that it was some wild shit going on... idk who this was but they knew wayyy more than enough of his personal business. Apparently Montana fcuked Victoria when he went to get his son back and that was the whole reason Amir was here now.... and Victoria had plans on getting her family back.... it was clear that this was not Victoria but it was someone close to her.... she made that very clear. Montana was upstairs sleep with Amir but as soon as the morning came... I was making it my business to straighten this out....it was perfect timing because Montana had to drop Amir off at his Mother house so that she could bond more with her grandson.

After We dropped Amir off I acted as if nothing even happened... I wanted to just see how fcukin fake he was going be and how long he was going to keep up this fcukin act as if he didnt fcukin cheat on me. No Questions I told him to go hard for his son but I didnt mean cheat on me in the process. As the day passed he acted like the perfect fcukin gentlemen but I guess thats what you do when you got dirt in your closet.

Amir was spending the nite at his grandmother house so as soon as we open my door I went in my room stripped outta my clothes and got in the shower, surprisedly Tana didnt open the bathroom door once. But once I came out the bathroom I spit it rite out....

Me: so wen was you gonna tell me you fcuked Victoria?

He just held his head down low and spoke

Montana: I was going to tell you once I got back but then I seen how close you starting getting with Amir and I didnt want to ruin it... I didnt want yu treatin him differently becuz of some shit I did

Me: Im a grown ass women, you shoulda just said what it was... I would never take out my emotions on an innocent child becuz you did some shady shit...

Montana: it was the only way she would let Amir leave with me... she was on some other shit... so I did it to get my son

Me: that wasnt the only way.. that was the easiest way that was convenient for you.

Montana: You saying it as if I went with the intentions of fcukin her

Me: no wat im saying is that you didnt fcukin think... you wasnt thinking about how the fcuk I would feel if I found out becuz you thought I would never find out.... thats the real reason why she's been blowing your fcukin fone up... but yu kept actin as if it was about Amir.... is there anything else you would like to get off?

Montana: Listen I kno I fcuked up && I swear I wasnt tryna keep a secret from you or no shit like that I just felt that now wasnt the time that I should just blurt some shit out like that.... I dnt wanna lose you over some shit that meant absolutely nuffin to me

Me: but that meant something to me... I told you about all the heart break I just went thru and all the shit I'd rather not go thru again... but here you are sittin in my face doing the same shit to me

Montana: Karie Im sorry and I dont ever wanna put yu in that type of position but At the moment I was really only thinking of my son and I kno that sounds selfish but its the truth. No I dnt have any feelings for her, I only did it once and I whole heartily regret it... I really really hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me because I really fcukin love you. I thank you for everything that you have done to make my son feel comfortable and at home, && I thank you for being a great mother figure for him at all times... You shit on mostly everything Victoria claims she does.

Me: Montana I wanna forgive you becuz I know how much you love Amir but rite now I really dont wanna see your face. I need some time to figure this out, I need at least the rest of this nite away from you while Amir's out. You kinda fcuked me up on this one.

Montana: I respect that... I'll give you your space now, but Im not going any where Karie... I love the shit outta you and I want us to work, I kno I fcuked up and Im willing to do whatever it takes to get us back on good terms. I've never said this to any female out my mouth before but I know now just how much You really mean to me. Just the thought of losing you got me jye fcuked up rite now and I can't have that. Ima call you in the morning before I stop by but just know I really do love you Karie

Me: Ok Montana

After Montana left I cried for the first time today.... I couldnt call anybody because I didnt even really want anybody to kno. I cried all nite ate Ice cream and finished watching "13 reasons why" this show had my emotions all over the place because it was so deep and rite now the situation I was in was kinda deep. At first I didnt want to forgive him... I was just gonna dump him and say fcuk it... but who was I really kidding.... my heart was sooo invested in Montana.... so as the nite went along I felt like I had to do something to feel better so I decided I would cheat back... just this once and once I realized I really had no one to cheat back with that plan kinda fell down the drain but then I thought it over again and decided to write Reese on Instagram. I didn't have his number anymore but social media would be the quickest way to get it. I basically just texted him and told him I wanted to have sex and he was all for it. He prolly thought I wanted him back, but I just was really on get back.