Déjà Vu

PHOENIX "I Love Me Some Him" •Chapter 31•

Mehki just really does it for me... this trip was sooo beautiful.... he brought me out here and treated me like a Queen, on the 4th day of our five day trip.... he proposed && of course I said Yess... I love me some him. Things were really starting to look up for me... in the past year or so I have lost a lot but I have also gained so much. I stumbled across this crazy ass man with an heart of gold who cares for me on levels no other man has ever gone to. I had every right reason at the time I met Mehki to give him straight attitude and no respect but after he broke me down... I realized he opened me up into levels I've never reached within myself. I've never been this open and willing to give a man so much of me with no looking back. I dont even second guess his love becuz I know what type of person he is. I knew we loved each other but I really wasnt expecting this. I wonder if he told anybody yet.🤔

I just could not believe I was really engaged once I sat on the plane....I kept staring at my finger and staring at Mehki sleeping on my shoulder. All I could think about was the endless conversations over the years me and Kennedi had about "Fcuk marriage" and "nigguhs still gonna cheat after the papers are signed" and all the baggage we put behind being married but here I was thinking about what my dress would look like. This was all so unreal to me. This also made me think about how soon Me and Kennedi would be parting from each other because im sure Mehki is gonna wanna find a house together and act like an actual married couple. Im going to miss waking up && having my favorite cuzzin in my face and on my back with her constant jokes and chill sessions... the bomb breakfast's.... our endless girl tea parties and shit like that. Our house was def the meet up spot. So many memories Im going to miss... but im not scared to make new ones with my soon to be husband. I really cant wait until we try again at this family thing. I kno the odds are very rare that I'll luck up with twins two times in a row but I'm praying that my next baby makes it all the way to term and come out healthy. I never use to want kids, but after Mehki it just felt so right. I remember when he str8 ignored me after they let us go and now he wants Me to be his wife. Funny how this world works, because I was ready to say fuck him that day at the mall walk away and never look back. Im just that type of impulsive person at times.

After Getting in the house from the airport... I seen Kennedi pull up and she looked like she just came from the mall and Coldstone creamery.... she knows I love cake and shakes so as I went to grab some of her cup she stopped me dead in my tracks

Kennedi: Waitttttt a minute bvtchhhh🤔

Me: Wat bvtch gimmie some... you kno I be press

Kennedi: no bvtch fcuk this cake && shake You are some one's fiancé' ✋🏾😝

Me: ohhhh🤗

Kennedi: bvtch ohhhh😳😂 wen did this happen? && Congrats🤗🤗

Me: thank you and about a day or so ago

Kennedi:Yesss bvtch Im feelin my maid of honor crown👑 coming soon💁🏽

Me: let me run this stuff upstairs and then we can sit and chat it up for a brick becuz Mehki bouta run to go handle sum business anyway

Kennedi: kool catch me in the living room

After I started throwing things around in my closet and throwing dirty clothes in the hamper...while trying to rush to get back down stairs to Kennedi I accidentally bumped into a rack in my closet which caused a box to fall down from the top of my closet and on top of the box was a piece of folded paper flying down with it. I opened this tattered piece of paper which seemed to be letter that Black wrote me way back. Crazy because I never read it. The letter was dated from some time ago and inside he expressed how much he really really loved Me.....he expressed how he wanted to be with Me, Marry Me and start a family. He also expressed how he was so aggravated that I wasnt on the same page as him. He told me in the end that I would wake up one day and realize that He was the one for me. Its crazy how shit falls out because when it was all said and done, one of my Ex-Friends was really the one for him. God works in mysterious ways.

Before I went back downstairs I tucked the letter inside the box and threw it back on top of the rack but this time I pushed the box towards the back of the closet. As soon as I got back downstairs I told Kennedi about it...

Kennedi: you kno im surprised, not at the fact that he wrote the letter... but at the fact you just now reading it🤔🤦🏾‍♀️ like bvtch do you ever clean your closet out or do you just keep adding new shit?😂

Me: I just keep adding

Kennedi: bvtch I see... && how ironic is it that you read this after your already engaged

Me: Even if I wasn't Black still had no chance with me.... it was a kool lil fcuk thing back in the day but I been over it... I wasn't looking for anything out of back then and I damn sure wouldn't be searching for anything out of it now

Kennedi: well sounds like he found half of his letter in Alana now he just missing a ring

Me: Pretty much... Im glad we both happily moved on. Im great in my situation and he's good in his I guess... well Alana seemed very happy when I saw her

Kennedi: Aye I need to get some things from Target, can you ride with me?

Me: Kool only if we can stop at Cold stones on the way🤗💁🏽😂

Kennedi: Sure Girl You so press😂