It's weird writing this, but you know that therapist that mum's been making me see suggested it. And I'm at the point where I'll give anything a go; I guess you'd call me desperate.
So here goes.
I'm writing this to you in the hope that one day, maybe months or even years from now, you'll reread this and realise how far you've come.
I know you see yourself as flawed; you have no trouble picking out your imperfections. You hate that little bump in your nose, and you think your different coloured eyes are weird. Why don't you realise how unique they are? You have one blue eye just like your mother and one brown to match your dad. Whenever they look at you, your different coloured eyes are a constant reminder of the love they shared and the life they created equally.
Maybe one day you will realise that your self-worth is not determined by how much your bones protrude through your skin. One day you will have a healthy relationship with food, you will be able to go to the seaside with your family and enjoy an ice cream without feeling guilty. Maybe you'll even have a birthday cake again and not punish yourself for enjoying a slice.
I hope that you'll look in the mirror and see just how beautiful you are. Maybe you'll learn to love the reflection you see staring back at you. You never know, you might even smile. You probably don't even realise that your smile can light up any room. It's infectious, and it looks adorable on you, I wish you'd do it more often.
You've got a long road ahead of you, none of it's going to be easy, but the best things in life don't come free to us. I know you can get through this if you really want to, you're strong enough, you just need to believe in yourself. Lilith believes in you; I've heard her at night when she thinks you're asleep she talks to you and sometimes she cries. She worries that you'll leave her behind and she won't be able to cope without you. She's sensitive, even more so than you, but she hides it well.
Just remember all those flaws you pick out so often are what makes you, you. And you're kind of amazing because there will never be another you. Who cares about imperfections? No one is perfect. I think I'd describe you as perfectly imperfect.
We can get through this together; I'll always be here for you, and I'll love you forever.
All my love Skylar x x
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