Alone in the bathroom is not how Lilith imagined she would be spending her first high-school party. But it wasn't even as if she'd wanted to come in the first place. It was Luke who had insisted.
"C'mon, it'll be fine, you'll be fine." he'd said. "You never know, you might surprise yourself and enjoy it."
But it had been him; he'd been the one to surprise her.
And now he was stood on the opposite side of the door, begging her to believe that he'd had nothing to do with what had happened.
Lilith wanted to believe him, but she couldn't. She wanted to believe that the Luke she'd grown to know and love over the last three months wouldn't do that to her. But she'd seen it with her own two eyes; everyone had seen it.
The time they had spent together since that night had obviously all been an act leading up to this point, he'd worked hard to gain her trust; she'd told him things she'd never told anyone else. Lilith had never been anything but open and honest with Luke, and he'd been waiting for the right moment to unleash total humiliation on her. She had told him all about Sky and how she missed her so much. They'd been in his room the first time she'd shown him the scars she usually tried so desperately to keep hidden. He'd touched them lightly with his fingertips, kissed the raised skin and told her that she was beautiful. And stupidly she had believed him.
But it was a lie, how could someone like her ever be beautiful? She was weak and damaged.
Lilith had, had enough, she didn't want to be at this party pretending she was something she wasn't. Someone she wasn't. Someone she could never be. They all did it. Luke had pretended that he was nice, that she could trust him, but she couldn't.
"Lily? Please let me in?" Luke said from the other side of the locked door.
She's already let him in once, she wasn't stupid enough to do it again.
Lilith had tried for so long to pretend that she was okay. But she could no longer pretend that she didn't miss Skylar. Lilith was a twin and without Sky half of her was missing. It had always been the two of them; they had this weird little language they'd made up, and without Sky, it was no good no one else understood. They'd been together before they were born, they'd shared the womb and most nights they used to sleep curled up together.
Without Skylar, Lilith was no longer part of a pair; she was on her own now, and she didn't like it one bit. It had been nine months since that day, and she'd never get used to it. If Skylar had been here, then none of this would've happened. She wouldn't have been outside Luke's house that night; they would've carried on through life never having said a word to each other.
Of course, Lilith had heard the rumours about the boys in school and what they did, but she didn't believe them. How at the beginning of the school year, they would choose a girl at random - usually the quiet, weird ones and make her fall in love with him and then break her heart. She didn't understand how someone could just make someone else fall in love with them until she met Luke that is. Luke hadn't exactly chosen her; she'd practically thrown herself at him that night when she'd almost thrown herself off the bridge, and he'd saved her life.
She remembered that night on the bridge when he'd told her that when it came to dating, he wasn't a cliché, that this was real life and not some teen movie. But right now, what he'd done to her, seemed to fit the script of a teen movie perfectly. Lilith felt the vomit rise in the back of her throat when she thought about what he'd done. How he'd recorded their time together and now he'd shown it to everyone at this party.
Of course, he played innocent, but then he would, wouldn't he?
Lilith looked herself in the mirror; she hated what she saw. He reflection disgusted her, everything about her disgusted her. Those spiderweb of scars on the inside of her arms made her feel physically sick. She traced her fingers over them, all those old scars she thought had healed; the truth is they would never fully heal, they were just there waiting to be opened again.
She felt nothing but relief as she watched the blood escape from the self-inflicted wound on her wrist; slowly at first and then faster, seeping into the cream bathroom rug. It wouldn't be long now, and Lilith would be reunited with Skylar again, she would be whole again.
Lilith could hear Luke; he was threatening to break the door down if she didn't answer him. Even if she had wanted to, she didn't have the strength to utter a single word, much less get up and unlock the door.
She lay her head on the rug and waited. She was aware of the voices; his voice, Luke. "What have you done?" he was repeating over and over, but she didn't know if he was talking to her, or someone else.
"We didn't think it would go this far. It was just a joke!" Someone said.
Luke was on his knees, Lilith's head resting on his lap, as he begged her to come back. "I never did those things, I love you," he said, tears dripping from his face onto hers.
But Lilith could see Skylar; her arms open wide, she embraced her sister, it was almost as if she was welcoming her home. They would be together once more.
"I love you, Lily. I always did. I always will." Luke whispered into her ear, as he cradled her in his arms. "Don't leave, please?" he begged one last time.
Lilith truly was in the arms of the angels.
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