Louis POV
One more day is left until we have to go back on tour and I'm so nervous I could curl up in a ball and die. Harry's visit early has left me in a state. I can't figure out why he was here. Why he was holding me and why it felt like the sweet tenderness of the man I loved before. It felt like home, it smelled like home. I wanted so badly just to let him hold me forever. To give up on all of the things that were said before and just melt into Harry to become one person. To live inside of his bones and never leave.
Why was he here? Harry knows where the spare key is. I never bothered to move it's location because maybe a part of me hoped he would come back, and that he would reserve time and everything would be okay again. But it's not. Everything about Harry makes me want to try again, to come back from this weight that has been crushing me and to be a better man. But why? When all I ended up getting was a knife through my heart, I just want his soft skin and his deep voice. I want to kiss his beautiful lips and bury my face in his neck and never come up for air. Thinking like this is going to eat me alive.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and hugged my knees to my chest. Tears came pouring out of my eyes, and I squeezed my fists together so hard cutting my palms with my nails. I need to talk to someone. Therapy is not an option for me, I hate the idea of telling everything to a stranger and them silently judging me. I wanna be better, I want to look better, I want to be happy again.
Sorry this chapter is so short I've just written 5 chapters in a row and I'm going to take a break for a bit so that I can gather my thoughts and ideas so I don't just write garbage. I'm trying to revive this baby.
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Depressive Chaos
ФанфикшнLouis is spiraling fast, his terminal depressive state is enough to kill him. Harry has left him when he is threatened with something that could change his whole life. What Louis believes is far from the truth. Can this love fix irreversible damage?
