A Cold Wind Blows (Forgotten series, #3)

Chapter 13

Children were strange and difficult.

Despite my wolf's now serious attachment to the children, it didn't give us an innate ability to raise them. Her enthusiasm didn't give us any knowledge towards what to do with them and their care. The little female, Nina, while sweet smelling and something we felt extraordinarily possessive over, was a noisy little thing that woke up every four hours for feedings. Lander had to show me how to make the bottles. The hospital had only given me one small canister of formula that I had narrowed my eyes at. My wolf wanted to feed the little female from our breast but I knew her enthusiastic want could not help with all things, especially that.

When I had lead the boys home, cradling their little sister to my chest, the four of them had curled up on the living room floor, unwilling to leave the comfort of each other's presence. Lander drug a cradle out of some place, it had been dusty but it had been good enough for Nina once it was wiped down.

After that my wolf had forced herself out and she had lay with the four boys, ignoring the fur pulling that Eli did and nuzzling Caden as he cried. She had spread her scent over their exposed skin, saturating her new futures as a warning for others to stay away and as a beacon stating that they were hers.

For their part, the boys took her attention well. Even she she started to groom them. Their hair had stuck up and out in numerous cowlicks when she was done but she had been satisfied. She had only let me out when the little one decided to show off her impressive set of lungs. We had both panicked at the sound before Lander had started to mix up the bottle for her. We had watched him carefully as he did, while I had rocked Nina, patting her diapered bottom awkwardly as I tried to get her to calm down.

I didn't know how to be maternal and my wolf only knew what her instincts told her but she lacked finesse. It was awkward for all of us and I followed Lander, watching him carefully as he did things for Nina and his brothers. I cooked and I held them if they requested it but there was a stiffness that I couldn't shake. While my wolf found herself enjoying the time, I felt slightly cornered.

I could not simply leave the mountains anymore. We had little people to look after now, a tiny family full of futures that relied on us. Bella had handed them over, thrown me the mantle of responsibility. While I balked at it, my wolf ran head first into the fray. She wanted her own futures, wanted children and we always assumed a mate was the only way we could get it. Now she had the futures she wished with no mate in sight. I understood her joy and her intense want. I did but in the same breath I would ache for my freedom.

The children were strange to me, foreign. The boys were very needy creatures, much like their sister. Eli demanded attention as Caden demanded comfort. Graham talked relentlessly, asking questions about everything demanding answers while Lander sat in silence. It had been a long night. None of them had slept, except for a few sporadic naps that were had through the night. Their grief had been palpable and I had simply allowed my wolf free reign to comfort them because I didn't know where to begin.

I let out a huff of air before adjusting my arm around Nina. I was still trying to find out where she would sit the most comfortable against my chest. She gave soft little suckling sounds and sighs but I didn't think she was truly eating, just suckling on the nipple to comfort herself. I looked down and my wolf rose upwards, wanting me to nibble on her exposed flesh as her little hands opened and closed. She was so tiny.

"Is oa'meal done?" Caden sniffled as he looked up at me and I shook my head.

"No, child. A few more minutes." The smell of cinnamon and apples hung heavily in the air as I slowly pulled the bottle from Nina's mouth. I watched as her little face scrunched up for a faintly heart stopping moment before she settled again. The next part always made me stiffen. I was afraid I would drop her as I gently adjusted her so she was resting on my shoulder. I patted her back firmly, like Lander had taught me. My hand felt big compared to her, I had never seen a creature more tiny.