Prologue

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Theron

Being an almost eighteen year old dad is hard. Responsibilities are piled sky high and the odds of me being a good dad like mine was to me is quite bleak. But the smile on my baby's face makes me think I'm doing alright.

But along came Bobby Ray Jones, who built me up and broke me down. Losing my parents and my sister in one fell swoop didn't break me like he did.

 Losing my parents and my sister in one fell swoop didn't break me like he did

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Bobby Ray

What is it about that boy that makes me crazy? I don't know but man I want to find out. He's just... everything I can't have. This thing inside me that craves him will mess up all my hard work. I don't want to be gay. I don't want to be judged and ridiculed all my life. I don't want my family to shun me, disown me. But I want Theron, even if it's only in secret.

 But I want Theron, even if it's only in secret

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Blaise

Why does everyone I care about leave me? My mom, dad, my best friend and now, now it's the boy I fell in love with.

Loneliness is my new normal and the expectation of my mom's death. Why can't my dad love me the way I am? The person I am? So what if I'm a flamboyant gay teen? I'm still his son right? I'm still me, just a more colorful me and all I want to do is fly free.

 Why can't my dad love me the way I am? The person I am? So what if I'm a flamboyant gay teen? I'm still his son right? I'm still me, just a more colorful me and all I want to do is fly free

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Smitty Ray

Blaise, the prettiest boy I've ever seen. Maybe I should have just left him alone but when he says he loves me, I don't know... I feel like I'm Superman and the way he looks at me makes my insides melt. I never meant to hurt him; I just wanted to see what it would be like to have him, be with him and soak up all that sweetness that seems to come off him in waves.

 I never meant to hurt him; I just wanted to see what it would be like to have him, be with him and soak up all that sweetness that seems to come off him in waves

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