Theron
Being an almost eighteen year old dad is hard. Responsibilities are piled sky high and the odds of me being a good dad like mine was to me is quite bleak. But the smile on my baby's face makes me think I'm doing alright.
But along came Bobby...
Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb,
Without a soul, my spirit sleeping somewhere cold,
Until you find it there and lead it back home,
BRING ME TO LIFE – EVANESCENCE
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Blaise
"Don't..." I said as loudly as my voice could go.
Smitty Ray stopped, our eyes locked. Then mine traveled down his body, to his bloody knuckles.
"Blaise..." I squeezed my eyes shut against the way he sounds. He sounds as if it's killing him seeing me here.
"Blaise please?" I shook my head at him, watched as his eyes tear up, hands shaking at his sides then turning to fists.
I turned away from him even though I needed him here. I needed him.
"Blaise... I'm sorry." he whispered. A rustle of clothes and he was gone.
Dr. Li came in after and sat with me for a while.
"I want a protection order." I tell him.
"Okay. I'll let your mother's attorneys sort that out. You'll be coming home with me until you're okay on your own." I nodded and closed my eyes drifting off to sleep.
I went home with Dr. Li and stayed with him and his wife for a couple of weeks until I could move properly and all my bruises almost faded entirely.
I've been back home a few days now. Smitty Ray comes around and knocks. He knocks for hours sometimes but I can't let him in. Not again.
He texts me all day asking how I'm doing, if I ate, if I showered. He tells me about his day but I don't reply. I can't. Not anymore.
It's my mom's cremation today. I'm standing there in the funeral home's chapel and I can't bring myself to cry. Not anymore because I'm happy. I'm happy she's free.
"Fly blackbird." I whispered placing the last kiss I'll ever give her to her forehead.
Fly my little black bird.
I smiled at the memory.
I pass Smitty Ray and Bobby Ray, Theron, all the people who came to pay their respects.
My chest so full I feel as if I'll burst; just combust with nothing lingering; no remnants that I was ever here, that I ever lived.
All the memories pressing behind my eyes forcing me away, outside until I'm running; running with no destination in mind.
