Heliophilia (sweeran adapted)

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Eds POV:
I woke up with a creek in my neck and a warm body wrapped up in my arms. My shoulder was uncomfortably bent under me and I needed to use the bathroom but I didn’t dare move in case I woke the girl sleeping soundly in my arms. She had turned around in her sleep so her head was on my chest, her arm draped over my waist and our legs tangled. The rise and fall of her back as she breathed was so lovely to just listen to and watch. I looked down to see her little button nose and her pouty lips relaxed as she slept and I wondered did that dick Mac every take the time to appreciate her like this. Did he watch her stir from sleep and rub her eyes and smile as they exchanged good mornings? Did he get a flutter of butterflies when she said his name or let her cry into his shoulder when she got sad over something small?
Because when I hold her hand I feel everything I want in life sitting their in my palm, I feel everything I adore about her right there tangled in my fingers.
She’s the type of girl that comes once in a lifetime. She deserves the world, she deserves someone who will spend hours thinking of ways to make her smile, she deserves endless kisses and unconditional love; no ones going to give that to her like I will. If she’d let me I’d bundle up all the things she hates about herself and put them in the sky to show her that all her insecurities are perfect and shine brighter than the stars, I’d show her all her faults are the things I can’t go a day without.
But she doesn’t see it that way. In her eyes she’s dirt, yet she also thinks I’m going to let the idea of her and I slip away; she’s wrong on both parts. She’s like the milk moustache you get when you drink frothy coffee and soft pillows and long hugs; no one appreciates how amazing they really are. I know i could waste words trying to convince her, but that’s all shes fed off of her whole life; empty words. I need show her ill be the one she needs, ill get her safely to El Paso and ill help her start a new life that she deserves; with me, if she’ll have me. And she’s so beautiful, when she picks out a flaw in herself I can find 100 contradictions, she made my bitterness for life turn into love and I hope she’ll make her world a better place too.
She starts to stir and I wait for her, letting her take her time in waking up. Her eyes are lazy and her hair is messy but I’ve never seen anything more lovely than her right now.
“When did this happen?” She asks referring to our entanglement. I just stare at her, taking her in as she props herself up so her face is inches from mine. I can see the sparkle in her eyes and the glow of her skin as I slowly gravitate towards her, closer and closer until we’re almost cyclopes staring right at each other with touching noses and swapping breaths.
”good morning gorgeous” i say and i see her eyes flutter down my face, glancing at my lips and back up to my eyes. These are the moments that I know I don’t need to worry about her pushing me away, I feel it that she wants this as much as I do but she’s scared and I need to give her time; luckily for me time is all I have.
She’s leaning over me and with that look in her eye she’s almost screaming at me to not give up on her, and I won’t. I move my hand to brush a strand of hair out of her face and I see her flinch at the delicacy; her lazy eyes are flooded with realization and she suddenly sits up and runs a shaky hand through her hair.
“What time is it?” She asks looking off into the distance and I can’t help the fact my heart clenches over the repetitive rejection.
“Does it matter really?” I whisper sadly as she stands up and takes a few steps to distance us.
“I don’t have a disease Taylor” I say softly when she doesn’t answer me.
“I know, it’s just-friends don’t sleep like that, together” she trails off and I sigh.
“But we’re not just friends” I reply and I see her stance getting defensive, she crosses her arms and a scowl takes place on her face.
“Yes we are Ed” she says back and I stand up.
“Tay, I’ll wait for however long you need, but I don’t see why you’re testifying to this. I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you, why can’t yo-”
“shut up Ed!” She screams and I’m a bit taken back.
“You don’t understand!” She yells at me and I just stare back.
“I do understand, I get it more than you do. I’m the one willing to kiss your scars until my lips turn blue but you won’t even look at me” I say softly, knowing raising my voice will do nothing.
“Can we just go?” She says after a bitter silence eats the air and I sigh before getting up. I collect all the stuff and packed it away as she got as far away from me as possible, but she was never able to escape my gaze as I took in everything about her.
Once we got back to the car I loaded everything in and walked around to the front to see her sitting in the passenger seat already, scowl on her face and her arms crossed as if they’d protect her heart from a inexistent threat.
I slid into the car and put the keys in the ignition, for the engine only to jump start and then fall dead. I tried again but I got the same reaction, the car always falling lifeless after every try. After 5 minutes and a lot of internal cursing I know there’s no hope for the car.
“I guess we’re walking” I say and get out of the car and make my way to the boot.
“What?! What do you mean-you’re a car whizz Edward just jump start it or something” Taylor stammers out as she makes her way quickly towards me.
“Do you not trust me?” I ask and look into her eyes and see her gaze soften. She stares at me for what felt like hours before she looked down at the ground.
“You don’t, do you?” I say and I’m met with silence.
“Mac is the one you shouldn’t trust Taylor, if anything I should be the only person you trust” I almost whisper as I move closer to her. Fixing a heart I didn’t even break wasn’t something I was expecting to face in life, but I won’t give in.
She doesn’t respond and I know I shouldn’t push her, this is harder for her than it is for me, so I turn to the trunk and pull out the bags and sling them over my shoulder.
“Do you want help?” She asks as we start to walk in the blistering heat and I look at her with a smile and hand her a bag.
We walked for hours along the dirt road highway, signs showing us we were only a few miles away from El Paso; we were nearly there and I’ve never been happier. She was silent, obviously thinking as her gnawed at her lip and trailed her feet beside me. From the side she was flawless, the slope of her nose and the outline of her lips sculpted like a work of art.
I had my hand out hoping a car would come along and give us a ride the last few miles when I heard the rawr of the engine which I knew all too well. My eyes widen in realization of who it was traveling fast down the road and I turned to see Taylor completely obvious.
“Taylor?” I ask stopping and I see her lift her gaze from the dusty ground to look at me with big beautiful blue eyes.
“Whatever happens in the next few minutes I want you to know that I am so in love with you, all of you, every last inch and ill never stop” I breathe out and I see her eyes flash from surprise to adoration as I pour my heart out to her.
“And I know you think very little of yourself and you don’t think you deserve a love as good as this but I know you do. Your worth everything I dream of giving you and I want to thank you for giving me the privilege of loving you” I finish as the car pulls up beside us and she looks over my shoulder to see who I knew was coming.
“Look what we have here Mac, dirt on the side of the street” JP chuckles out as him and Mac slam the doors of their cars and stroll towards us. I turn to face them and bring my hand to my back pocket to get the gun I have but JP holds up his own, causing me to freeze.
“Don’t even fucking think about it” he sneers and I hear Taylor whimper from beside me as he waves the gun around.
“So, you two think you can just fuck us over like that huh? Make a fool out of us and you two just skip off and play happy couples once we’re locked up?” He laughs out obnoxiously as I stand protectively in front of Taylor.
I look to my left and in the horizon I can see a tiny black dot but I’m interrupted by JP.
“Look at me when I’m talking to you fucker” he yells and I snap my head back to face him.
“Throw your gun on the ground” he orders and I slowly take it out of my back pocket and throw it to the ground. Out of the corner of my eye I see the black dot getting bigger and bigger and I can see it’s a car.
“This is how it’s going to go. You’re both going to turn around and start walking. You won’t know when im going to kill you, but I will. So when I count to three you turn and start walking, got it?” JP orders and I can feel my heart hammering widely in my chest.
“Don’t kill her JP I made her come out here” I say and he directs all his attention to me.
“Either I kill her or you do Edward” he says looking me dead in my eye but I don’t back down.
“Think you’re so brave huh?” He asks coming closer to me.
“You do it then, kill her right now in front of me” he says shoving the gun into my chest. I grip it so he’ll stop digging it into me and I chance a look at Taylor who’s got tears streaming down her face and she’s shaking like crazy.
“Can’t you just kill me and let her go?” I ask him softly and he laughs in my face. He reaches into his pocket and withdraws a pocket knife and shows me before flipping the blade up and pressing it to the skin of my neck.
“This is not a game Edward” he hisses at my face and I see Mac walking towards a trembling Taylor.
“Don’t touch her” I growl at him as he takes a fist full of her blonde hair and tugs her into his body.
“I said dont fucking touch her” I bark again and I feel the blade press harder into my neck and I stop my actions. All of a sudden the sound of flesh hitting flesh sounds out through the silence and I turn to head to see the girl I love in tears with a raw hand mark on her face.
“Worthless bitch” Mac spits at her and its so clear that he’s the reason behind every last one of her insecurities.
“Do it” JP orders me and shoves the gun into my hand and I swallow a lump in my throat as my hands start to shake. Mac shoves Taylor forward and she stumbles, starting to take slow steps forward and I can see her whole body shaking. I toy with my gun in my hand and the roar of an engine is clear as day now.
“Shit” I hear JP curse out from beside me.
“DO IT NOW” he screams at me and I filch at his hardness. I don’t move and he grabs the gun from my hand and aims to shoot when a gunshot rings out and he falls to the floor.
“PLND DROP YOUR WEAPONS NOW” someone shouts as JPs body withers in pain on the floor beside me. Mac drops his gun and holds his hands above his head and Taylor still has her back to me. Taylor. My sweet little Taylor is shaking with fear because of my brother. I start to move my feet to meet her but what happens next is all a blur. I’m in a daze when someone roughly pulls me into the police van and the doors shut in front of my face. I don’t understand what’s happening when we start to move and I’m being checked by officers.
“Are you hurt? Can you hear me?” They shout but I snap out of my daze when the absence of the only person I want here is evident.
“Where’s Taylor? I want Taylor” I say and I move to open the doors. I want her back; where did she go?
“Listen kid, we need to make you disappear. You cut off everything from your old life so we can protect you. You need to forget about her okay? Now tell me if your hurt” a man says to me rudely and I push him off as he tries to inspect me for injuries.
“No! You don’t get it, I love her. She needs me, you said we’d be safe” I half yell as I see him visibly get frustrated.
“She will be safe, but just not with you. They’ve taken her someone else and they’re going to do the same for her like they will for you; make her disappear.” He says sternly but I still won’t except this.
“but I need her” I scream at him and he turns and starts fixing some sort of shot out of his first aid bag.
“This is a fucking joke! I’m in love with her, I need her with me to make her happy. You don’t understand how-“
“This is going to pinch kid” he says as he grabs my arm and slides the needle into my skin.
“What are you doing?! I want Taylor!” I yell with a hoarse voice but I start to feel woozy as he pulls out the needle and turns back to put it away. The whole van starts to spin and everything starts to fade away until I’m left in darkness.