Heliophilia (sweeran adapted)

Chapter 11

Chapter 11:

We waited, and waited and waited. I sat until my legs went numb and my stomach growled at me. I stared at the door until my eyes ached to be closed and rested. I didn’t speak, too focused on my target, hoping to see his beautiful face as he comes out of the doors of the hotel. I built up hopes of what our encounter will be like; our eyes meeting over the crowded street, we’ll find our way to the other and fall into each other, my heart will race but I won’t leave room for tears as I drink in everything I’ve missed about him. Ill breathe in him to make up for all the times I didn’t get to, ill tell him I’m ready, ready to love him and to be with him. He’ll be so happy as will I, he’ll whisk me off and we’ll finally be happy.
These thoughts are the ones that kept me going through the cold night and into the early morning. Thinking about his soft touch, how he says my name as if it’s a beautiful sonnet, how his lips are as soft as rose petals and how he knew me, he knew I wasn’t worthless like I should have been. The thought of Ed in love with me sent me into a daze.
On the second day Sam said he couldn’t stay any longer but he’d come back and check on me. I understood; he wasn’t the one who was in love with Ed. But I wish he had stayed, because when the drunk man I’d never seen before approached me I was without someone to help. When I rejected him as he slurred propositions of us going back to his place, I had no one to intervene when his hand swiped me quickly across the face. I hadn’t a shoulder to cry on when he spit harsh words at me and stumbled off, leaving me to clean the blood off my lip in silence. But that didnt matter, as long as I got Ed back.
An hour later I was drunk with tiredness, leaning against the brick wall as my eyes blurred and lip throbbed, but what happened next wasn’t a blur at all. The man who pushed me around exited the doors and looked around swiftly before turning back to the entrance and moved his head as a signal of sorts; I knew this was my chance. I got up quickly, my body screaming at me as I moved my aching joints quickly. I run to where I see his beautiful face exit the door, so perfect as he scans the streets absentmindedly.
“EDWARD” I scream desperately as I get closer to him. I see him look around, all his senses active trying to see where the yelling was coming from. The ogre of a man kept trying to push him into a limo but he wasn’t having it, pushing him back and directing stern looks at him making him stop.
“EDWARD” I scream again and my voice cracks because of my tiredness, of my completely fatigue is at full affect. He’s searching almost frantically now, recognising the voice. I finally get close enough for him to recognise me, but the look he gives me is one I never want to experience. It flashed from horrified, to shock and then settled softly in pity as he took in my appearance. He drags his eyes up and down my body before taking a step towards me but the man steps in front of him. He looks at him and shouts something that even scares me before he slowly backs off and Ed slowly makes his way towards me. He’s finally in front of me, the sound of cars and people fade out and I’m smothered in him, I take everything about him in as he looks at me like I’m insane. It’s almost as if he’s glowing, he’s just as handsome as the last time I saw him. A gulf of emotions hit me as I realized how desperately I missed him.
“Taylor?” He asks in disbelieve and I don’t notice the tears falling down my face until they drip onto my cold skin.
“Hi Ed” I say with a shaky voice but I try to cover it up with a giggle. I wasn’t sad, so why was I crying? I was happy, so fucking happy I could have shouted out. I felt the happiness spread from my chest to my finger tips and make me smile despite my glasses eyes fragile frame.
He’s still so far away, I wonder do I look as scary as I feel. He was probably scared, I was scared at one point too, yet he’s not scary nor am I.
“Follow me” he says quietly before turning on and strutting back to the group of men waiting for him. He goes straight up to a girl who i think is his assistant and he whispered something in his ear and a spark of jealously runs through my veins; he shouldn’t be so close to her, he’s mine.
He finishes and makes eye contact with me before bobbing his head indicating I follow him into the hotel. The lobby was the biggest I’ve ever seen, plush couches and rugs scattered the room while walls and floors shined back at me. I followed Ed past the reception until I was stopped.
“Excuse me where do you think you’re going?” The man behind the desk asks me and my mouth bobs open and closed as I try to stutter out a response.
“She’s with me” Ed says quickly looking impatient.
“Oh-well I’m sorry Mr. Sheeran I didn’t know” he says with a fake smile which he ignores and starts to walk again as I scamper behind him.
We arrive at the elevator and he presses the button as we wait in silence. My eyes are glued to his beautiful side profile as he bites his lip and stares straight ahead. The elevator dings and the doors swing open to let us enter the small room. He distances us as far as we can be and a ripple of pain shoots through me. Do I smell? I probably do, but I feel it’s more than just my smell keeping him away from me; as if there’s a different type of distance pushing us away from each other.
We ride up floor after floor in silence until the doors swing open on floor 46 and we exit as he leads us through endless corridors before coming to a set of double doors. He takes out his key and swings them open to reveal more of an apartment than a hotel room; it was the fanciest thing I’ve ever been in. He throws his handbag on the couch and turned to me as he ran his hands through his hair.
“Um, there’s a spare bedroom last door on the right with an un suite if you want to get cleaned up. You can call room service if you’re hungry and there should be clothes in there too.” He says softly and I just stare at him in disbelief.
“Ill be back in a bit” he continues as he makes a beeline for the door.
“See you later” he says and shuts the door as I’m left in silence. I actually can’t believe him; I didn’t get a hug, or a kiss, or even ‘I missed you’. Nothing. I felt hot tears form in my eyes again but I didn’t let them fall yet. I ran to the bathroom and quickly stripped off, turned on the shower and slipped under the amazing hot water. The pressured shower beat down on my dirty skin, and only then did I allow myself to cry. Sobs wracked my body as I felt a hole in my chest grow bigger and bigger.
“He doesn’t love you anymore” voices screamed at me in my head. “Of course he didnt wait for you, you’re not special enough to be waited for”
I finally dragged myself out of the shower and wrapped myself in a towel before moving out to the bedroom. The huge bed sat proudly in the centre of the room by the wall and I wondered how he afforded all this.
I dry my hair and then find the clothes he was talking about in the closet. I pull out a pair of pyjama shorts and a huge jumper that dripped in his scent which I inhaled, completely addicted by his smell. I padded out to the kitchen and checked all the cabinets; he had nothing. I sighed and picked up the phone, calling room service and asking for my first proper meal in months. It arrives a little bit later and I settle down on the couch with my food to watch some movie Im not concentrated on as my mind wonders to her. Why was he acting this way? Was it me? Does he not love me anymore? Thousands of thoughts race through my mind as I feel myself slip into a fitful sleep.

I’m awoken by the sound of the door closing and I look up to see him staring at me from across the room. The dim lightening of the room making him look so beautiful, like something your dreams are filled with. I still can’t believe it’s Ed right in front of me, it all feels surreal.
“Hello” I start as I pull myself up into a sitting position.
“Are you feeling better?” He asks as he hesitantly takes a seat at the end of the sofa.
“Yeah, thanks. And thank you as well, for letting me stay.” I say and I see him stare deeply at the rug below us, avoiding my gaze.
“Are you okay?” I ask when he doesn’t respond.
“Oh, yeah I’m fine…I’m good” he says slowly and I still know he’s uncomfortable.
“What are you doing? I mean, what do you do for a living?” I ask trying not to sound rude.
“Im a nightclub owner. I’ve got a few here and Cali and one in NY” he says dully and my mouth drops open, it explains the money she has.
“I knew the ropes, so why not?” He continues and I nod my head.
“And you?” He asks obviously out of politeness.
“I’ve been on the streets for the past year” I say in a equally dull voice and I see his eyes flash with something.
“Well, I won’t let that happen again.” He whispers still looking at his rug in a daze and a silence hangs in the air.
“So, who’s that ogre who wouldn’t let me see you?” I ask trying to lighten the mood.
“My bodyguard and my eh..” he starts but trails off not finishing the sentence.
“And…?” I push and I see him swallow a lump in her throat.
“And eh-my girls friends brother” he whispers and my chest feels like it just caved it. It physically hurt to hear him say those words, to know that he calls someone else the label I wished I could call myself. Pain ripples through my body as the silence hung over us once again and I knew I needed to change the subject, but I couldn’t. He finally looked up at me and his eyes were pooled with sadness.
“What happened to your lip?” He whispers and I go to answer but only a small squeak comes out because I’m in so much emotional shock. But what happens next takes me completely by surprise.
He grabs my hand and leads me into the kitchen and sits me up on the counter, familiarity floods my sense with the scene.
He gathers everything he needs before he starts to clean my lip with his beautiful delicacy.
“This might sting a little” he whispers before dabbing something that felt acid on my lip making my wince. He finished up slowly and brought his hand slowly up to my lips, tracing my bottom lip slowly but carefully. He still had a sheet of freckles sprinkled on his nose and his eyes bursted with colour and in that moment he didnt have a girlfriend and I wasn’t homeless and pathetic and we were in love, a love we both deserved.
“I missed you so much” he whispered, his breath tickling my lips since we were so close.
“What happened to us Ed?” I asked softly after a silence ate at the air.
“I thought you loved me” I whisper, hurt lacing my voice as we subconsciously moved closer, my hands found his neck and his hands my waist as we moved so close our foreheads were touching and our eyes were boring into each others.
“I do” he whispers and my heart starts to hammer in my chest.
“And I love you” I whisper back and I see him biting his lip as he pulls me even closer with the statement.
“So why are you with someone else?” I question softly and he lets out a sigh.
“I can’t Taylor” he says and he pulls away from me, my body screaming for him to return to his place tangled with me.
“Ed?” I ask, my voice cracks as he makes his way to his room.
“im sorry” he whispers looking at the floor before slipping into his room, leaving me more alone than I’ve ever been before in my life.