Heliophilia (sweeran adapted)

Chapter 21

Chapter 21:

"Honey I'm home!" Sam shouts sarcastically and I roll my eyes.
"Is it safe to come in? Are you two naked?" He asks from behind me and I turn on the sofa to see him standing at the doorway with his hands over his eyes.
"He's not here and I don't watch TV naked" I answer quietly as my mind wonders to Ed for the millionth time tonight.
"Where'd he go? Bathroom? Bedroom to get ready for you long night of passionate make up sex?" He asks and plops down beside me and steals the bar of chocolate from my lap I was nibbling on, but I couldn't care less.
"He left about an hour ago" I reply and he turns to me.
"Well at least tell me your engaged or something" he says with a scoff and I sigh.
"Sam, we're friends now" I say and get up.
"Im going to go to bed, i'll see you tomorrow" I say and kiss his forehead.
"Thank you for caring, but stop being the pushy mother I never had" I say with a smile and he rolls his eyes.
"Nina says hello!" He yells as I walk away.
"Don't even say her name" I growl and close the door of the bedroom, stress overflowing my senses. I just wanted to sleep; I wanted a lot of things but sleep was the top priority.
I climbed into bed after I changed and flicked off the light, leaving me in darkness apart from the moonlight streaming through the linen curtains. I held my hand up so the moonlight danced over my hand and I imagined it as him gliding over my skin, and I wondered if he was lying in bed thinking about me the way I was thinking about him. I wondered if he was really okay with the 'friends' proposition I insisted on. Some part of me wanted to him disagree, I wanted to evoke a intense reaction from him so I knew what he feels for me is an mind eating as I feel...felt.
But he didnt, he kept his cool as he always does, never raising his voice and being stubbornly passive.
I let out a sigh at the thought of him webbing a sheet of confusion over my mind and I decided I wouldn't over think. Sure, maybe I still felt something for him, I mean love doesn't just disappear in a click of your finger. But I also knew I didn't trust him, our past was clouded and I needed something stable, conventional and rather boring. Ed wasnt boring. Cuddling Ed raises your heartbeat and blood pressure to the height of a Olympic swimmer; he was fast and blinding and I didn't need that. I wanted to slowly date and go through the motions, I wanted to be normal.
I rolled over, trying to shut down my mind as my thoughts clogged my brain and scooped up the extra pillow into my arms and pulling it as close as possible. I nussled my nose into it and noticed it didn't smell like him at all as I closed my eyes knowing this was the last time I could ever thing of him in such a delicate way. He was a friend. "I need to keep myself protected" I repeated until I fell into a fitful sleep.
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"Good morning" I hear husked from behind me as I lock the door to the apartment.
"Hello you" I say with a smile as i turn around and I take in his lazy appearance consisting of sweatpants and a hoodie with his hair messily and a mug cradled in his hands as he leads against his door frame. He had no socks on and I couldn't help but feel my heart breaking at just how beautiful he was like this, how with his eyes still sparkle in the morning and his smile seems a lot more genuine; he almost looks vulnerable but most of all adorable.
"I was wondering if I could pick you up from work?" He asked, bringing the mug to his lips and taking a sip. I mulled over it in my mind and let out a sigh.
"Sam's going out with Nina and he told me if I don't he'll leave me a stink bomb in my apartment via letterbox" he continues and I giggle.
"Sounds like Sam" I say half heartedly, my mind too focused on how deep I really am into this whole "leading him on" business.
"As friends; ill pick you up as a friend picking a friend up" he says slowly but I can see his eyes tell a completely different story.
"Okay" I say finally with a smile, knowing I didn't really have a choice.
"Good" he says and smiles softly at me making butterflies erupt in my stomach.
"See you later" I say just above a whisper as his eyes never leave me, burning a hole into my back as I walk with pep down the hall biting my lip.
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"Sei molto gentile! Come back again sí?" Paolo says to the final customers leaving and I smile hanging up my apron as Jake sits on the counter beside me.
"Got plans tonight princess?" He asks as he plays with a strand of my hair and I try to hind my blush.
"Not really" I say and he lifts my chin up so my eyes stare into his brown ones.
"Would you mind if I took you out to dinner?" He asks sweetly and I bite my lip.
"I'd really like that" I say softly and I see the smirk grow on his face.
"Perfect; give me your phone ciccino" he says, his accent showing as he rolls his Italian off his tongue.
"He punches in his number quickly and texts himself so he has mine and hands the phone back to me with a smile.
We make our way out the door onto the street and I turn to face him.
"I'll see you tonight" he whispers as he takes my hand in his before bringing it up to his lips and kissing it softly before smirking up at me.
"Uh" I hear mumbled from behind me and I turn to see a shocked looking Ed bundled up in a scarf and a rose in his hand.
"Em-Jake, this is my-"
"Friend, as social labels go...but I'm very much in love with her, and that's all you need to know" Ed finishes for me with a cold stare that would crack a rock and I feel the tension build up.
"Oca, I see you've made interesting friends bambino" he chuckles out and looks at me.
"I'll see you tonight eh?" He says with a smile I return.
"And to your friend, Vaffanculo" he says to Ed with a cheeky smile and with that he turns and starts to walk away.
I can't even look Ed in the eye as I turn to face him. We start to walk in silence and I can't almost feel the tension radiating off him.
"Who was that?" He asks finally.
"Jake" I answer simply.
"And you're trusting that with your heart and not me? Just because he's shiny new and got an accent?" He asks lightly but I can hear the strain in his voice.
"He's not good enough for you" he says finally when I don't trust my voice to reply.
"He's nice" I say quietly.
"He's not me, that's why you're doing this" he says back and I roll my eyes, getting frustrated.
"Not everything about you Edward; I'm moving on" I say strongly as we walk down the almost empty street.
"You're mine, wether you realize it now or later" he huffs from beside me and I stop walking.
"fuck you!" I yell at him and he doesn't even flinch back.
"Just leave me alone, this was obviously a mistake" I say as I walk ahead of him, just wanting to get home and away from him.
"I didn't mean to upset you" he says from behind me after minutes filled with silence.
"I just want you to be happy" he says and I sigh.
"Friends don't get jealous, friends let there friends go out with whoever they want" I say warningly.
"I know, I'm sorry. I'll control myself next time" he says softly looking at the ground twirling the stem of the rose with his fingers.
He shyly hands it to me and I take it from him, running my fingertips over the soft petals.
"Are you happy?" He asks as we both stand outside out apartment doors in silence.
"Im getting there" I say with fake enthusiasm and a similar smile.
"I just don't understand; you could be happy with me" he mumbles and I sigh.
"You blew your chance Ed" I say sadly and he looks up with sad eyes.
"He's not going to treat you right" he whispers and I have to avert my gaze from him.
"I'll see you later" I say and turn and start to unlock my door.
"Love you beautiful" he says to my back and slips into his apartment as my forehead leads on my door.
"Love you too Ed" I whisper to myself and blink back tears as I let myself in through the door to get ready for tonight.