Castiel Imagines {BEING UPDATED/REQUEST OPEN}

No Matter What (Trigger Warning)

Formerly Opposites Attract, Right? 

TW: Implied suicide, insecure thoughts

You never wanted to end up this way, you were human at one point in time. You were a friend of the Winchesters and dated their friend and angel Castiel, but once you ended up in Hell it was over. It was all because you made a deal with a crossroads demon to save your friends and yourself in the long run, but it came with a price like any other demon deal. 

After being stuck in Hell for three years, you were allowed to leave, but you didn't go back home. You knew that if Sam, Dean, and Cas found out then there would be a likely chance of them hurting or maybe even killing you, so you didn't go back and you probably won't. 

You rolled over in the motel bed, wondering where to go next. You didn't have the money for food (even though you didn't need it anymore, you ate it to not raise suspicion) and barely had enough to pay for the room. You just wanted to be back home doing research with Sam or eating pie with Dean or just cuddling with Cas in your room. You missed all of it and it was your fault that can't go back. It was your decisions and your thoughts that refused you to let you go back to them. 

You got out of the bed and walked over to the little kitchenette area and pulled the switchblade from your pocket and grabbed the little salt shaker. You poured water on the end of the blade and put salt on it, making it stick. You aimed your knife at your heart and went for it, but never made contact with your skin. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the beige trenchcoat, and the tears you didn't know you were holding back began to fall. 

Castiel didn't say anything as your knees buckled and you fell to the floor. He heard the news from both the angels and the demons but he wasn't sure if he believed it when he saw the tears roll down your face. 

"(Y/N)?" 

"Get away from me!" You sobbed. "Please, just go away." 

"Come back home," Cas said softly while kneeling  beside you, "we won't do anything to harm you." 

"No, no," you whimpered while shaking your head in denial. "You're gonna say that and then I'm gonna show up and you're gonna hurt me." 

"(Y/N)," Cas repeated while putting his hand on your shoulder, making you flinch back, "we won't hurt you. We know you haven't done anything to hurt anyone. I won't let anyone hurt you." 

Cas seemed to be reading your mind. You knew all the Winchester's plans and schemes and you knew that they probably followed Cas and had their salt guns and exorcisms ready. You saw Cas shake his head, "No, they're not with me, they're at Bobby's. I haven't told them anything." 

"Bobby's place is laced with traps and you know that. It'll hurt me if I even go near there so that's why I'm not going back. I don't deserve to go back and I don't deserve to be loved either. Demons can't be loved or feel love, what makes me so different from the rest of the demons? Is it because I was a human before? Is that what makes me so different?" 

Cas grabbed your hand and it hurt you, not physically, but mentally. "You think you being a demon makes any difference? I tried everything to get you back even knowing the consequences of your deal. I tried breaking it, I tried to offer myself instead, I tried going after you, but nothing worked. Sam and Dean tried everything too, we've all been worrying for the past three years. We all want you home with us." 

It was funny to you. You watched him smite demons without hesitation but he wouldn't dare hurt you and that just made you so mad. You wanted him to do the right thing, something a hunter would naturally do. He's an angel and you're a demon and it wasn't right! 

He pulled you into and held you. You felt yourself begin to cry again as you held onto his coat to the point where your fists shook and your knuckles turned white. Only Castiel could see the humanity left in you and you wanted to yell at him for it. Only he can be so naive. 

He placed a kiss on your head and you felt yourself relax. For once in weeks you've finally relaxed. You did want to go home, get out of this dirty motel room, and into some new clothes. 

"Maybe we can go home," you told Cas quietly. "But how are we going to tell Sam, Dean, and Bobby?" 

"They all assumed this would happen, I don't think they would be very upset." 

You gave a soft nod as you finally let go of him and wiped your tears away. "Will you take me home?" 

"Of course, (Y/N)." 

~ 

{BONUS} 

You and Cas looked at each other before walking into Bobby's. You forgot what the house looked like. You stepped onto the rug and stopped because of the devil's trap. 

"(Y/N)?" Sam asked, making sure it was you. You nodded and his smile grew. "Dean! Bobby! (Y/N)'s back!" 

The three of them came up to you, very happy to see you. Sam was the first one to hug you, slightly picking you up and making you laugh. Dean scruffed up your hair and welcomed you home. Bobby gave you a soft smile and patted your shoulder. 

"I-uh-I'm sure you all assumed what happened," you started, "and it's correct, sadly, but I promise I won't-" 

"You want out of the trap or not?" Bobby asked, making you nod. He pulled out his knife and raised the rug, scratching a little bit of paint off. You stepped foot outside the trap and inhaled. "Welcome back, kiddo."