The Last Gent

Half/Naked

Mom my card was declined, what's going on? I tried to buy a movie online for $14.99. I know I'm ok because I have over a thousand in my savings and three hundred in my checking by choice, so what is wrong?" I asked in total innocence to the situation. "Son, I needed to take the money out as collateral for an online loan." I was devastated because I gave you money... well, you took almost four hundred dollars two weeks' prior, leaving me broke again for what you called an 'account overdraft' from a joint account with my deadbeat dad-based on how you described him-yet he was the only supportive individual in my life. I remember that day I sat in the bank with you, relieved that I finally-after a great deal procrastination-could pay off my previous overdraft, a result of my reckless lifestyle.

"Are you sure you want a joint account?" the banker asked, almost warning me of the situation to come, but I overlooked it by saying, "I want to take care of my family while I'm in Hawaii and they are here in Virginia." Now, I'm here with no money in my account. I couldn't believe my mom could betray me like that, then lie! I'm a good son. I would go to war for my family. I would die for you, and yet am I such a terrible individual that after twenty-five years of living you can't even pick up the phone or even text me. The same promise that I made to mom in the beginning, "Never lead women on or take advantage" but here you were thousands of mile away taking advantage of your only son for an inch of satisfaction. The end result was you letting me know that it was a scam and you couldn't give me back the money you took from my account. You told me via text.

Feeling betrayed, I called my dad, then headed up to the top deck overlooking the ocean. On my left were passengers-carefree...money in the bank, while I looked forward to the blank dark ocean. I doubted that this was my future. But it was, in a sense, a promise of a continuous flow of nothing, like my bank account. Why change my account? I grew up trusting in my family... well, in this case my mom. Why betray me Mom? You knew how I felt about my account. I love you, but nothing is promised... not even this job. Plug Daughter text me today telling me she missed me, but I can't even be happy fully. You know that carefree happiness, what does that feel like Mom? Is that how you feel now that I'm the sucker and you're almost two thousand dollars richer? Somewhat sucker free for now.

'Respect myself and respect everyone around me' is the law outside of the ten commandments; a motto that big brother Kevin Gates lives by as a means of staying out of trouble. These days, it's hard to live by, especially as I keep sabotaging myself with this life changing self-rule. Although, the next day you gave me six hundred dollars, you guilt tripped me again for my own money by telling me how much I was a bad son growing up-draining you mentally, emotionally, and physically. But Mom, what son wasn't? Feeling drained of her harsh words that haunted my thoughts, I opened up to my roommate Uncle Genie, being completely vulnerable-not by choice, but because I had nothing left and he was there to capture one of my weakest moments by memory. In my only space of privacy, a 6 foot by 12-foot room, my forced confidant, Uncle Genie told me, "Don't let nobody take you down, Corey." Family would before friends or enemies, were the legendary words from the OG that pierced my head that night, leaving me in a distraught state in my room.

The next couple of days were rough because, just simply reaching out to try to be understanding-to be the loving son that I strived to be-was replaced with aggressive, threatening conversations. You played the victim, threatening what was left of my family by kicking me out the house and portraying me as a gangster for my money. Mom, I am not acting callously; I care about both you and my baby sister, but you have always been known as a legend for your exaggerations. I don't know who to believe as you're telling me the home you built is falling apart, but my dad is confirming that he is reaching out. I gave you two thousand dollars in less than five months, with you going on vacation, having a good time with my sisters, while I'm spending my five months as a slave... proving that I'm here for you.