Shifting Love

Chapter 9: Trust In Me

The book almost fell out of my grasp when I realized it was his journal. My eyes swept around the room. I listened to make sure no one was around.

I sat up and made myself comfortable on his bed before cracking open the journal. It was wrong of me to read but I had to know if I could trust him.

I opened to the beginning and saw he started this many years ago. It was the year he left the Hollows and his family.

Father is taking Tristan out for another hunt tonight. He wouldn't allow me to come along so once again I am left behind. It doesn't surprise me or hurt anymore when Father tells me I can't come with them. He won't say it out loud but I know he is training Tristan to take over as Alpha one day.

Tristan always was Father's pet. Ever since we were little he did whatever Father asked. Father says jump, Tristan says how high? It makes me sick. He can't do anything wrong in our father's eyes. When he does screw up, it's blamed on me.

I am ahead of everyone, including Wonder Boy himself, in all our classes. I've surpassed all my peers and Tristan in my training. I took down James, the Hollows Beta, last week. Does Father notice me? Never.

Tristan walks around the school and our territory like he and his friends own the place. All the girls fall over themselves trying to get a date with him. He didn't even wait to find his mate. I vowed to wait for her no matter how long it took. It doesn't seem right to be with someone you aren't meant to be with. He says true love is for pansies. I punched him in the face when he made fun of me for wanting to wait.

Tristan beat up Harrison last week for asking Astrid out on a date before he got the chance to do it himself. I got blamed for being a bad influence on him. This week he failed his War Tactics final and it was somehow my fault he didn't study hard enough.

We are supposed to be brothers, twins. He never sticks up for me. He laughs when Father locks me in the cage in the basement as punishment.

I won the Annual Best Fighter Award this year. It is a prestigious award and an honor just to be nominated for it. Tonight is supposed to be the ceremony where I would accept the award. I'm not going. I told Father but he didn't care. He said I didn't deserve such an award and I bribed someone to give it to me.

How embarrassing would it be to show up without my family? I wish mother was still around to be here for me. She was the only one who understood me. She would have shown up to the ceremony.

Alpha Xavier told me he would be there to support me as my family. Most days I wish he was my father. Arianna has no idea how lucky she is to have him. He has always been there for me whenever I need to talk.

Yesterday I told him my plans to leave the pack with Cooper. He offered to take us into his own pack but I know Father would never allow it. He didn't want me to take over as Alpha but he didn't want me to be a part of someone else's pack, especially the Shadowlands.

I reached out with a shaky hand to flip through a few more pages in the journal. I wasn't expecting to read about my father. His words left me breathless.

I knew from firsthand experience how horrible of a man his father was. But now that I read how he treated his own son, my mate, I hated him. I was feeling so conflicted.

On the one hand, there was Tristan. He was on the receiving end of their father's love. He was a spoiled brat that took advantage of people. I didn't even know if I wanted to be with him anymore.

On the other hand, there was Dante. He was on the receiving end of their father's hatred. He was never spoiled and from the looks of it, knew the meaning of love. I didn't love him but I was sure I could get there.