The Damn Wife

Chapter 5: Fixed (II)

"I want you to need me like I'm something you can't lose."
-@Cole Swindell

***

Bakit ko nga ba naisipang puntahan pa si Zerx? Wala naman siyang maitutulong sa sitwasyon ko. Isang tao lang naman ang makakasagot sa lahat ng tanong ko e. Siya lang. Si Dad.

Mabilis kong pinark yung kotse ko sa labas ng gate. Hindi rin ako magtatagal sa bahay na'to. 
Naabutan ko naman siya sa study room niya na nakaharap sa laptop niya. Para pa nga siyang nagulat sa presensiya ko.

Kusang bumilog ang mga kamao ko.

"Why are you here? Parang  ang aga naman yata ng dating mo."

Umupo ako sa sofa na malayo ng isang hakbang sa kanya.

"Yeah. It's just that hindi ko na makayanan ang eksena kanina."

I said with a sarcatic tone.

He just stared at me.

This man is really a piece of dogshit.

"Could you fucking harder explain what was that fixed marriage for?!"

"You don't talk to your father like that Alexander. Have a little manners."

Mahinahon niya pa ring sagot. Nakakainis na talaga!

"How could you still manage to composed yourself like that you old man?!"

Nagsukatan kami ng titig sa isa't isa.

"Are you that crazy that's why you decided to deal with Coleen's parents so-called fixed marriage for us?"

He sipped his coffee.

"And what's wrong with that? Try to look at yourself. You look  like your mother Alex. You look like a masterpiece of some asshole. You're worthless. Habang buhay ka na lang bang magiging bachelor? Wala ka bang balak na magseryoso sa buhay? Kung sabagay may pinagmanahan ka naman."

He hit it. I swear I really love to punch him right now, right here. But I'm still trying to be cool. I want an answers with my questions. And it will never happen if this man is already dead because of my hands. So I have to manage everything like what he does.

"Say whatever you want. Call me whatever you want. Just give me a damn explanation."

At saka ako umupo  ulit  ng naka-dekuwatro sa sofa.

"Marry Coleen and I will give you all of what I've earned in exchange."

Napangisi naman ako.

"Ganyan ka na ba kadesperado Dad? Parang nasabi mo na yan kay Mom before she decided to left us, isn't it?

I'll give you all of what I've earned in exchange of not leaving us Lyn.

Biglang dumilim yung expression ng mukha niya. Shoot.

"Don't you ever mention your Mom when I'm talking to you son."

He's still affected by only Mom word. He still love her.

"As I was saying, may taning na ba ang buhay mo? Mamamatay ka na ba Dad? Bakit parang atat ka na makitang ikakasal ako? At hindi ako pulubi. Kayang-kaya kong mabuhay kahit wala ang pera mo. Remember that your son is a highest paid engineer in the Philippines."

Taas- noo kong pahayag.

Uminom ulit sya ng kape bago ako sinagot.

"Kung mamamatay man ako, hindi ko ipapaalam sa'yo. At kung may taning nga ang buhay ko, anong pake mo? Wala akong pake kung highest paid engineer ka. Dala dala mo kase ang apelyido ng isa sa mga pinakamagagaling na abogado  dito sa Pilipinas. And I have a lot of connections that is why you are in this state now. You owe me a lot."

And that's how we lived without air in our body.

"Oh really? Thanks to you, then."

I said with a smile. This man really hits my nerves.

"Yeah. Always welcome. Anyway, gusto ko lang na magkaroon ng apo at makakasama rito sa bahay kaya gusto kong mag-settle down ka na. You see, wala akong kausap rito. Kung anong gara ng mga furnitures natin, kahit anong laki ng bahay na'to, hindi ko maappreciate Alex. Balewala lahat kasi wala naman akong nakakausap sa twing nalulungkot ako. Wala akong kasabay kumain. Simula nung nag-graduate ka sa elementary, bumukod ka na diba? You even said you aimed to be a valedictorian for me to say yes with your wish which is a condo unit, remember? Ilang taon na ba  na ako lang ang tumatao rito sa letseng bahay na'to?"

Hearing that feels like someone's stabbing my heart.

This is so bullshit.

"Bakit ba ang hilig mong magdrama? What a gay side of you."

He's my father. And whatever happens, he's still a part of me.

If he's in pain. I'm also.
But I have a choice to hide it.

"Tell me that kapag naranasan mo nang mawala sa'yo yung taong pinakamamahal mo o kaya pag naranasan mong maiwang mag-isa. Kapag naranasan mong masaktan ng todo, tell me that son."

And with that a tears fell on his cheeks.

Tinanggal niya yung eye glasses niya para punasan yung mga luha niya.

Akala ko sanay na ako sa ganto pero bakit nasasaktan pa rin ako?
How could he still missed my mom like this? He have a damn wife before. Why can't be happy na malaya na siya? How can he loved a woman  like this? It's frustrating.

Fck. My father is such a gayshit. He's a one-woman man.

"I understand you Dad. But just leave me alone. Hindi mo ako kailangang kontrolin kung sino ang papakasalan ko at kung kelan ko gustong mag-settle down."

**

And with that... I left him alone without knowing that will be our last conversation. He's in a coma until now.

Pumayag akong pakasalan si Coleen kahit parehas naming ayaw.

And I will tell you this once.
I have no intention of falling this so deep for someone. But Coleen made me fall this hard.

Now that she's back, I will serve her right.

--------TBC

AUTHOR'S NOTE

I'm really sorry for the very slow update. I didn't mean to. It's just that I'm very busy. Thanks again for keep reading this. Hindi na rin ako magtataka kung wala ng may interes na basahin pa 'to.
Ang kupad ko naman kase talaga.
But then, still thank you! ♥

NEXT UPDATE WILL BE POSTED TOMORROW. 😉