The Damn Wife

Chapter 9: I miss you

"When you were gone and I couldn't see you, the hardest part was that I still missed you."
@BellaSwan

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COLEEN'S POV

"How can you say that Coleen? Haven't my presence here not enough to show how much I missed my wife? I missed you, it makes me sick."

I looked straight at his eyes. Yes. I can't deny that his presence really shows  how much he missed me.

"Hindi mo kailangang isipin ako. Hindi mo dapat pinapabayaan ang kalusugan mo."

After saying that, I touched again his  forehead. It's still hot. But much better than a while ago. I panicked when he groan complaining that his head is aching. He almost passed out in my arms. Good thing,  he still managed to go upstairs and lay down on my bed.

Nagulat ako nang tinanggal niya yung kamay ko sa noo niya at nilagay yun sa kanang pisngi niya.

"Bakit hindi ko kailangang isipin ka?"

Hindi ko inaasahan ang tanong niya na yan. Natahimik ako.

"Do you have any kind of idea how broken I am when you left me that day? God knows how pathetic I am Coleen, even right now. Bullshit. It still hurts."

His voice broke when he delivered the last line.

Nilipat niya yung kamay ko sa dibdib niya, sa bandang puso. Lumapit pa siya sakin.

"You feel that? The beating stopped when you left me, but now that you're here, almost 13 inches away from me, it starts to palpitate again. That's how you affect me."

"Alex..."

I'm speechless.

"I want to hug you, and to kiss you. But I will wait for your permission for me to do that. I don't want and I will never let that stupidness happen again."

We both heaved a deep sighed.

"But fogive me when I say I miss you. I want you to fucking know that. Just that. Because I might explode if I didn't say it. I miss you Coleen..."

Wala na. Naiiyak na ako. Bakit ganito ka Alex? Why do you have to do this to me? I thought wala na akong babalikan pa. I thought humanap ka na ng iba. I thought the moment I left you, hindi na ako ulit iiyak. But why is it things become more complicated now?

Naunahan niya ako sa pagpahid sa mga luhang tumutulo sa pisngi ko.

"Ako ang mas nasasaktan dito Coleen kaya wag kang umiyak."

There's an authority in his tone.

"You've waited for me inside of two years? Why do you do that Alex?"

He cleared his throat.

"Why wouldn't I?"

I shut my eyes so tight to stopped the tears.

"Hindi ko ba nasabi na mag-annul na tayo? Tell me, nakalimutan ko ba? Did I miss some details?"

This time, siya naman ang umiwas ng tingin.

"Pinalaya na kita Alex. I gave you the opportunity to be with other woman. Ano pa bang gusto mo?"

Hindi naman porke andito na ako, pwedeng magsasama na ulit kami. Things were not the same two years ago. Mas lalong hindi na kami pwede ngayon...

"What?!"

Sigaw niya.

"Ikaw nga ang gusto ko e! Ikaw nga 'tong mahal ko e. Tapos sasabihin mo na you gave me the opportunity to be with other woman? Tangina naman Coleen. Alin ba ang hindi mo maintindihan sa salitang mahal kita?"

Halos masabunot na niya yung buhok niya na medyo humaba na rin pala.

"You don't understand Alex. I----"

"Hell no! Hindi mo naman pinapaintindi paano ko maiintindihan?!"

Nilakasan ko ang loob ko para makipagtagisan sa malalalim niyang titig.

"Ayaw mo naman kaseng intindihin."

"Then spill it now! Ano bang rason mo para iwasan ako?"

Biglang nagbago ang ekspresyon ng mukha niya.

"What Coleen? Say it now."

Kalmado siya. So, I think this is it.

"When I was on my way here, I met him."

After saying that I noticed that his shoulder is shaking and I know I'm hurting him again.

"And then what? He asked you to come back with him? Yun ba Coleen?"

Hinilot niya ang magkabila niyang sentido.

Umupo siya sa kabilang gilid ng kama at tumalikod sa'kin.

"Yes Alex.........

......and we were together again..."

Kahit na iniwan niya ako noon.
Kahit na niloko niya ako.
Kahit na pinagpalit niya ako.
Nakakatawa noh?
Ganito pala kapag first love. Kahit sinaktan ka na, mahal mo pa rin.

Halo-halo na yung pagkadismaya, at pagkagalit na nararamdaman niya ngayon. Alam ko yun. Hindi pa naman ako ganun kamanhid.

"Paano ako Coleen? Hindi mo ba talaga ako minahal kahit minsan?"

Punung-puno ng hinanakit ang tono ng pananalita niya.

Mahirap mang paniwalaan sa side mo, minahal kita Alexander Cazillo. Pero mas mahal ko si Franco. At kailangan niya ako ngayon. God knows na hindi ko ginustong maging ganito ang sitwasyon naming dalawa. Minsan hindi ko na alam kung saan ilulugar lahat ng sakit na nararamdaman namin. 'Bakit mo pa kasi ako hinintay Alex? Bakit mo pa kase ako minahal?'

Hindi ko magawang sabihin yan kase mas lalo lang siyang aasa.

"Bata pa tayo Alex... makakahanap ka pa. Hindi lang ako ang nag-iisang babae na pwedeng magmahal sa'yo." Marahan kong pinunasan ang mga luhang agresibong tumutulo sa  pisngi ko.

Tumawa siya ng pagak.

Nilingon niya ako.

"Putangina. Ang hirap namang maging seryoso....... Ang hirap  mo namang mahalin Coleen." Napayuko ako sa mga sinabi niya.

"Okay lang na sabihin mong maghintay ako e. Pero bakit kahit anong gawin ko, siya pa rin ang pinipili mo? Know what? I want to meet that jerk. Para malaman ko kung dapat ba akong magpatalo o hindi. Hindi ko naman talaga intensyon na mahalin ka ng ganito katindi Coleen. Basta nagising na lang ako nasasaktan ako kapag alam kong kahit ako ang kasama mo siya pa rin ang hinahanap mo. Pinakasalan kita because of my Dad. Now, he's in coma, and you're really giving up on me, I felt like I have nothing now. And I hate this feeling. I just think two years is already enough. Nakakapagod rin palang maging tanga."

Every words coming from him is like a knife tearing me apart.

"Kung siya ang gusto mo, then be with him."

Yang ganyang tono..... sumusuko na siya.

Bakit ganito?
Bakit ang sakit-sakit?
Abnormal na yata ako. Eto gusto ko hindi ba?

He stood up. Humakbang siya palapit sa pintuan ng kwarto ko.

"Go. Live with your so-called prince charming." He said in gritted teeth. "But I promise you, I will get back what's under my property. Be happy Coleen."

With that, he leave my room.

----TBC

AUTHOR'S NOTE:
May interesado pa bang bumasa nito? Hanggang 20 lang naman ang TDW. Pwede wag na wag niyo itong iiwan? Please. Thanks.......