Not So Different

Oh i'm so sorry

It had been over a year since the accident and Carter had been the resident bad boy. But we moved and since my mom was paying his medical bills i asked if we could have him transported to our new area.Besides i was tired of other guys trying to take over carters place at the old school...Especially Max. he had even tried to be in a relationship with me but he was the main reason everything happened the way it did. That and i truly did...do love Carter and i'd never go for his best friend i'm not that type of girl.But turns out max was that kind of guy.

When we moved here i hoped things would be different, they really weren't the good girl had just gotten cheerleadered was now a slut and then there i was. i was new and apparently new miss-goody-two-shoes. i mean it sucked in the worst way and never mind the bad boy here. He is such a jerk i haven't talked to him and i didn't plan too. But i did just because josh and Luke decided to get into a fight. Which caused me to run right into him later that day. And i can honestly say i never had that a hard a time with carter but then again Carter was always secretly a softy, only with me though and it never changed not even in the end.

I know i should go visit him but i'm worried maybe after school today i'll go see him.I'm still worried though what if he never forgives me. What happens when he's gone. What happens when he wakes up and i have to tell him what happened that night.It would hurt him just as much as it did me. He never really had a dad around.He would have been an amazing dad.

 Flashback 

I woke up to white walls and a heart monitor by my side.I didn't know where i was or why i was here.All of a sudden it all flashed back to me.

the party, the fight, carter, the accident.

I could feel my heart beating faster and so was the monitor.I could feel a headache coming. My breath was coming out faster. Then a nurse rushed in and by my side.

"Mam, mam i'm going to need you to calm down please."she was speaking calmly putting me at ease.

"What happened to me?" i questioned her, i was honestly just trying to figure out what happened to Carter.

A sad look suddenly crossed her face as she looked down at me.she reached out and held my hand which rested on  my stomach.

"I am so sorry for your loss mam." That's when i began to panic.

"NO!NO, Carter he was wearing a seat belt he can't no he can't be dead. PLEASE!"i cried aloud, there was a look of confusion on her face."Mam are you talking about the young man that was in the vehicle?" i nodded wondering what else she could have been talking about."Oh no he's fine, well he is in a coma. But mam i was actually talking about..."

"Oh my goodness.Oh no you didn't know, Oh i'm so sorry."a tear streamed down her cheek."Mam you were 1 month and three weeks pregnant, and that's just an estimation made by the doctor.Oh i'm sorry."

i felt the world fade into darkness. It's impossible me and Carter we had always used protection, but, oh my god.

I lost my baby. My first baby.Why me?why?

in the moment of darkness i was finally lost, the horrible memory locked in my mind to take with me.

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