Not So Different

it hurts to remember it...

i woke up after a few hour and decided i'd go see him i hadn't gone in a while and i missed him. But i cant this is all my fault i just cant. i still remember that day.

flashback                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  "Carter this is not funny!" i screamed at him as he sped down the road driving in a drunken haze.

"I know I know! But was it funny when you were whoring around with max behind my back huh! WAS IT!" he was yelling full force now and i knew what.

Max had just kissed me and Carter was so angry but drunk he was still strong enough to punch Max hard enough to lose consciousness. i was crying now, I hadn't done anything.

"Carter please i l-l-love you, i swear i didn't he kissed me  i didn't kiss him back i wouldn't do that to you"

he swerved the car off the road and parked it he was breathing hard, panting, like he really could not breathe anymore.He got out the car and walked off. He was so stupid if he thought i'd just let him walk off like that. I scoffed as i jumped out the car and ran after him i grabbed his arm forcing him to stop and turn around to look at me.

It really hurt me as i looked up into his eyes he closed them i could see all the pain and betrayal in them. They were identical to the emotions in my eyes as i cried silently looking up at him hopeful that he'd look back at me. He did and suddenly his whole expression changed he looked ashamed as he wiped away my tears." i did this i made you cry, i promised i wouldn't not ever again." he looked at me fiercely before  he pulled me into a tight embrace then he fell to his knees hugging me around my waist as i hugged him tight running my fingers through his hair his head reaching up to my mid-stomach a little past it as he tightened his arms around me.

" I love you, I love you, I love you, it's ok Carter look at me. look at me. Please?" i begged him silently. And he did he was trying not to cry this was the first time i told him that i loved him. It was something for him especially the way he grew up.He smiled softly as one tear slipped past hi i leaned down and kissed it i could taste the salty tear drop on my lips as i pulled away. he finally stood up towering over me he leaned down and kissed me softly smiling slowly as he pulled away.

"I love you too." he whispered softly. I felt my cheeks warm up as he pulled away i could see his smirk ,"Your blushing huh, don't worry i would too." he said playfully i just smiled and pecked his lips softly we went to the car and got back in he started it up and turned towards the road.

he drove forward a bit but no one was on the road.

he looked away for one second.

just one second. he leaned over to kiss my cheek.

"I love you so much." he said smiling softly his cars hood was more on the road his side was exposed how were we to know. i looked over his shoulder. before i could scream there was impact. The car turned over and i could hear him screaming my name as i was his. 

suddenly after what seemed forever everything stopped the world wasn't spinning and by some crazy chance the car was upright. i looked at Carter he wasn't moving i couldn't tell if he was even breathing.

oh my god what if hes dead pleases don't be dead. dread slipped into my heart at the thought, i was shaking my head i loved him so much he would not die on me no he wouldn't. i tried to move my legs but the pain was unbearable i let out an inhuman scream. it's probably broken but right now i could care less i start to look around for our phones i see it at the bottom of my feet i strain for it it's out of my reach i use my hand to move my leg. the excruciating pain begging to make me unconcious but Carter isn't moving so ineed that phone just at the tips of my fingers...got it! i feel victorious for a moment before i feel i'm losing myself to the darkness.

i dial 911 as quickly as possible"This is 911 what is your emergency?" before i can answer i start to regret having moved it cause i began to cry so hard and i was screaming i couldn't bear the pain." Carter! CARTER!" i creamed the lady on the phone is asking if it's a joke then i should hang up. i start to cry.

"please...the car...carter...i-i dont he's not...please...i dont know...not sure...breathing or not...please help me." that's when i lost consciousness.

"i'm sending help..." her voice faded out.

end of flashback

i reached up to wipe away my tears i hadn't even noticed that i was calling his name. Sometimes. It hurts to remember it...