The Lightning Awards [FINALIZED]

[Entries] Love is in the Air

The following entries correspond to the former category of Love is in the Air and It's Sweet.

If you have any questions or complaints about how I graded your writing, comment below and we will clear up whatever misunderstanding that whichever one of us has had. Just remember to tag my username, SoarLikeTheWind, so that I can get back to you through my private account.

I am open for the option of wanting your critique to be removed to a private setting, although your grade and basic entry info (username-summary) will still be public.

Yes I do change scores if I end up thinking that a certain entry deserves more points. Reasons behind those could be that I discover the fact that the author is an amateur and does not want their story to be judged so hard, or that I messed up because I did not do my research (which actually happened to an entry). No scores will be changed if I have not been contacted through the comment section below.

My given scores will always be fair, even though I may state what I disliked about the story. On the same note, just because I like your story does not mean that I will be extra generous on points. I will state again, and swear on the OTP (GenSaku) I've pledged upon, that all the number scores that I give are fair.

-C.C. Lyn

Entry #1

By: SoarLikeTheWind

Username: HolyEmpressKira

Title: When Dreams Come True 

Summary: 

What would you do if you could meet that one person you wished for more than anything?Will you be able to say everything you wanted to or not? [GouenjiXReader]

>Title [3/5] "When Dreams Come True" are all capitalized properly, which is great, but the title itself is a little bland. While it does convey the meaning, and could indeed work as a title, I wouldn't be surprised if I wandered into the section of the teen romance in the library and picked up a random cliche book with this title. It however does not require change, it just doesn't enough interest in my mind when I see it.

>Summary [7/10] Unfortunately, here is where you're lacking in. It poses a question to make the readers think, but it doesn't seem to give enough information about the story. If it wasn't for the cover, the tags, and the mention of [GouenjiXReader], I wouldn't have even one clue what the story would be about, and thus wouldn't be interested in it since I wouldn't have been given enough information to be baited. This could be a good opening for a summary however, as I like how the simplicity of the lines fit with the story, despite being slightly overused. For some reason, it doesn't sound cliche at all on here. But perhaps you add more information on Erica and "relationship" with Gouenji before they "met".

>Plot [18/25] THEY FELL IN LOVE TOO FAST! There, I said it. I hope I haven't hurt your feelings. Really. I just have no better way to say it. Depending on the circumstances, falling in love so early could've been possible, but the unfortunately the circumstances don't pass that mark here. Some of the plot was also cliche, with the meeting a hot guy and bumping into him. While Erica's feelings were understandable and perfectly acceptable, Gouenji's made no sense. Why would he have falling in love with her in the third chapter? All she did was tell him that you can't shoot flames in this world. I kind of would've liked it if he realized he had feelings for her during or after their talk on the soccer field.