"PETE! OH MY GOD PETE! HARRY POTTER IS IN OUR KITCHEN!" Ginny screamed, jumping on top of Petunia. "WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!"
"I'm up!" Groaned Petunia, sitting up and clamping her hand over Ginny's mouth. "Please shut up."
"Buf Hawwy if down fere." She said, trying to pry Petunia's hand off of her face.
"That's interesting, but not 'wake me up by screaming and jumping on me' interesting." Petunia said, removing her hand from Ginny's face and standing up.
"Whatever." Ginny huffed. "He's your brother, I thought you'd care more." She ran off before Petunia could respond.
"Prat." Petunia muttered. She changed quickly before going down the stairs.
"I'll help Ron. I've never seen a de-gnoming-"
"Whose de-gnoming?" Petunia asked, entering the kitchen with a stretch. She spotted Harry and gave a little wave, which he recipicated.
"These three are." Molly said, sending a piercing glare at Fred, Ron and George. "Now, let's see what Lockhart's got to say on the subject -"
She pulled a heavy book from the stack on the mantelpiece. Petunia stifled a laugh at George's over-dramatic groan.
"Mum, we know how to de-gnome a garden -"
Petunia looked down at the Gilderoy Lockhart in the picture as he kept winking cheekily up at them all. Molly beamed down at him.
"Oh, he is marvelous," she said. "He knows his household pests, all right, it is a wonderful book..."
"Mum fancies him, it's not that good of a book." Petunia told Harry, who quickly coughed to hide a laugh.
"Don't be ridiculous, Petunia," said Molly, her face going a bright red. "All right, if you think you know better than Lockhart, you can go and de-gnome the garden as well missy." Petunia cursed under her breath.
Yawning and grumbling, the five made their way out to the backyard. Petunia took a quick peek into the chicken coop, looking around for any eggs. But it seemed Molly had already used them for breakfast.
Disappointed, she kneeled down and poked her head under the coop. She saw a dark figure wandering around. Petunia reached her hands in and wrapped them around the large, fat body. After a violent scuffle and the coop getting quite a shaking, Petunia came out with a victorious grin.
"Gerroff me! Gerroff me!" squealed the gnome. Petunia squeezed its mouth shut to keep it from making noise and biting her. She snuck over behind Ron and stuffed the gnome down his pants.
"Ah! What the hell Pete!" Ron shouted, throwing the gnome in his hands; it flew twenty feet into the air and landed with a thud in the field over the hedge. Ron pulled the gnome out of his pants and held it away from him, it's gross little face scrunched in laughter.
"Pitiful," Fred called at Ron, not realizing what Petunia had done. "I bet I can get mine beyond that stump."
Petunia went back to work, coming up from a rosebush to see Harry frantically shake a gnome off of his hand. As it let go, it flew higher than George's.
"Woah, Harry - that must've been fifty feet..."
The air was soon thick with flying gnomes and curses, mostly from the gnomes but a fair few from the twins as well.
"See, they're not too bright," George explained to Harry, seizing six gnomes at once. "The moment they know the de-gnoming's going on they storm up to have a look. You'd think they'd have learned by now just to stay put."
