Random Poems

Because You Aren't Me

You'll never understand the thoughts and the doubts that go through my mind, because you aren't me.
You'll never be able to understand how the thoughts effect me, because you aren't me.
You'll never understand how much I hate myself, because you aren't me.
You'll never understand the hatred for myself that I have day after wretched day, because you aren't me.
You'll never understand the insecurities I have every day, because you aren't me.
You'll never understand the fact that I hear the change in your voice when you see me, because you aren't me.
You'll never understand that the scars on my wrist are a constant reminder that I lost to something so small and meaningless, because you're not me.
You will never understand the dread I have for getting out of bed every day that I'm without her, because you're not me.
You'll never understand the ways that I cope or the ways that I get my anger or frustration out, because you aren't me.
You'll never even know that these happen every day that I wake up, because you can't see me. You'll never know my smile is fake, or that no matter how many likes I get or how many compliments I receive I still always end up feeling like nobody cares about me, because I hide it.
You'll never understand that when I hit a low is the lowest of the low and it can take days and weeks to get out of, because you aren't me.
You aren't.
No matter how hard you try to relate to me, you will never be me. I wake up and look out my window and into the sky and try to put on my happy face for the day and lock my demons in a cage. I live in the daylight only to cower into the darkness later to let my demons breath. To let them take over. They bring the doubts, they bring the insecurities, they bring the constant reminders of being a screw up, they remind me that I'm not in shape, they remind me that no matter how much I try I will never be able to please everyone, and they bring back the sadness and the tears and the overwhelming sense of not being good enough for anyone. But you will never understand that, dear reader, because you aren't Me.