Random Poems

To: my insecurity. From: me

Today you woke me with a bad dream. Nothing more than a fake idea that you placed into my brain to suffocate out the happiness that was sleep.
Today you made me see only the bad in my situations, even though there was plenty of good to be had.
Today when my girlfriend tells me "I'll be back i'm going to the store" you will attempt to make me believe that she isn't going to the store and that she will leave me soon because I am a worthless piece of trash that only exists to make everyone else feel better about themselves.
Today you will make that saying about sticks and stones a lie because you will cause the words that I am told to break my spirits and crush my hope.
Today you will take me to a place in my head that I have never been before. You'll give me ideas I've never had before and show me new angles of good situations that make them seem bad.
Today you will make me believe that I am a hopeless case. That I cannot be loved. That I cannot be cared about. And that I cannot be important to anyone.

Today you will break me.

But tomorrow you won't wake me.
Tomorrow I'll wake up because I'll smell the sweet smell of summer coming in through an open window and the sounds of birds chirping.
Tomorrow my girlfriend will tell me that she is going to the store and I will say "don't forget milk."
Tomorrow I will be called fat and my only response will be to smile and shake my stomach and say "well it's just more to love."
Tomorrow my hope will be kindled once again. Because you may have thought that you smothered every last bit of hope that I had burning inside me and left me in ashes. But that's the thing about ashes. Sometimes there is one hot coal left and that coal kindles a fire.
You see you thought that you could control me but that was today and tomorrow is a new day where I will not be frightened by the thought of getting out of bed. Because tomorrow I will wear those shorts that you told me I looked terrible in, but I'll wear them because I've never gotten a bad review on them. Because tomorrow I will smile at the sky and the stars and the moon and I'll tell myself "it only won the battle, but it didn't win the war." Because tomorrow I will stare you in the eye and tell you that you have no more power over me. That you've been in control for far too long and that now it is my turn to drive and maybe you can drive some other time. It's my turn. I'll smother you into ashes and stomp you out until there is almost nothing left.
But I'll miss one.
And it only takes one hot coal to kindle a fire.