QUEEN OF SUBURBIA | tom holland [✓]

xii. TEXTUARY

NEW MESSAGE FROM: UNKNOWN

UNKNOWN
hi, lorelei, happy birthday :))

LORELEI:
thanks, who's this?

UNKNOWN
it's tom!!
lizzie gave me your number and said she'll tell you

LORELEI:
you really expected her to tell me?
yikes

LORELEI CHANGED UNKNOWN'S NICKNAME TO SPIDEY BABY.

SPIDEY BABY
rude
i was trying to be nice

LORELEI
this ain't instagram buddy

SPIDEY BABY CHANGED LORELEI'S NICKNAME TO LO(R)KI

SPIDEY BABY
payback

LO(R)KI
do you realize i actually like that nickname

SPIDEY BABY
ahh
i tried

LO(R)KI
damn you, spidey baby

LO(R)KI CHANGED SPIDEY BABY'S NICKNAME TO PETER PARKER.

PETER PARKER
aww man i love this

LO(R)KI
bitch
wait
does lizzie know we're texting?

PETER PARKER
i might've told her
why?

LO(R)KI
shit
i can already feel it

PETER PARKER
feel what??

LO(R)KI
the tomelei she's screaming
she and chris and nick and asa and bea and reese
oh my god

PETER PARKER
tomelei?

LO(R)KI
yes

PETER PARKER
what's that

LO(R)KI
tom + lorelei
jerk

PETER PARKER
oh
well that is unfortunate

LO(R)KI
no shit sherlock

LO(R)KI CHANGED PETER PARKER'S NICKNAME TO SHERLOCK.

SHERLOCK
i love sherlock

LO(R)KI CHANGED SHERLOCK'S NICKNAME TO SHERJERK.

SHERJERK
well that's just plain rude

SHERJERK CHANGED LO(R)KI'S NICKNAME TO LOKI.

LOKI
BRUH
I LOVE LOKI

SHERJERK
how do i not fail with this

LOKI
it's impossible
i'm the best at everything

SHERJERK
you're horrible at flirting

LOKI
i wasn't flirting with you!!!

SHERJERK
i know thaaaat
lizzie told me
and then bea
and bea told me a lot of stuff about you

LOKI
i hate them both
why are you talking about me with them?

SHERJERK
they started it
i couldn't leave

LOKI
i feel bad for you know

SHERJERK
i know about your obsession with me...

LOKI
whatever they told you
it's not true

SHERJERK
are you sure
like
REALLY sure

LOKI
yes

SHERJERK CHANGED LOKI'S NAME TO SPIDEY STAN #1.

SPIDEY STAN #1
NO
OH MY GOD
TOM NO

SHERJERK
TOM YES
I FOUND IT
SOMETHING YOU DON'T LIKE
WELL WHAT'S UP MY LOVELY SPIDEY STAN #1
OR SHOULD I SAY
MY STAN #1

SPIDEY STAN #1
I AM NOT YOUR STAN #1 YOU DIMWIT
THIS IS UNFAIR

SPIDEY STAN #1 CHANGED SHERJERK'S NICKNAME TO SUPERMAN.

SUPERMAN
oh
am i your superman?

SPIDEY STAN #1
sweetie
i hate superman

SUPERMAN CHANGED SPIDEY STAN #1'S NICKNAME TO TOM STAN.

TOM STAN
well this is just...
embarrassing

SUPERMAN
how about we call a truce
because this will go on forever

TOM STAN
no
i am not losing from you

SUPERMAN
i don't think either of us has much choice

TOM STAN
heeey
i just realized
this can mean i'm a tom hiddleston stan!!

SUPERMAN
we either call it a day or i'm changing your name to tom holland stan #1
just to make sure you know it's me
you and everyone else

TOM STAN
you're a horrible person
truce

SUPERMAN
truce

TOM STAN CHANGED SUPERMAN'S NICKNAME TO TOMMY.

TOM STAN
just a lil bit of fun

TOMMY CHANGED TOM STAN'S NICKNAME TO LOR.

TOMMY
deal

LOR
well
i gotta go now
it's late

TOMMY
yeah
will you be celebrating?

LOR
yeah, this saturday
lizzie didn't invite you?

TOMMY
nope

LOR
oh
i was so sure
dammit

TOMMY
what, you want me to come?

LOR
it'd be fun
you'd get to meet bea

TOMMY
and you

LOR
yeah and me
but that's not so important

TOMMY
well
maybe

LOR
well
bye then

TOMMY
byeee
and happy birthday once more :)

[#WHIPPED]