Poetry

Stuck in Between

(Authors Note: This poem is a bit depressing and long. Its what I used to feel awhile ago, and every now and then...the feeling comes back. I hope you like it. If you dont, thats ok. Just give me your opinion. This poem really needs a comment, I need to know what you think. Enjoy it. Hate it. Love it. Doesnt matter. Just tell me what you think. Anyways I know its a bit late, but Happy New Years!!! I hope you have a great year, and a new beginning. :D!)

Im stuck.

I cant get out.

They push and pull and tug.

But does it do anything?

NO.

All they want is power.

All they want is to win.

Watching myself tear in between,

I realize.

Is this fight worth anything?

Im always in the middle.

Always between two.

Getting squeezed and squished and crushed.

But I dont move.

I stay in my place.

Not wanting to move.

Not wanting to see them in pain.

But the longer I stay.

The more I die inside.

Ive had enough.

My life is so stressful.

But I dont even know the meaning of stress.

I try and help so many people.

But I never help myself.

Whats my life worth anyway?

Is it that valuable?

Is it enough to put me through pain.

And the more pain I have the more I want to die.

How does that help me?

If my life is that valuable, shouldnt I want to live?

But I dont.

No matter what they say.

I do not want to be here.

I no longer want to stay.

Why cant they just let go?

I want to be free.

I want to go on living.

There are things I still want to see.

But the truth is.

I am the one that is blind.

I cant see myself.

I dont know who I ever was.

So please let go.

I really am tired.

I dont want to go on like this.

Going side to side.

I cant stay with both.

I have to choose one.

But I cant.

I might hurt the other one.

But if I dont choose, Im hurting myself.

Please someone help!

I dont know what to do.

I am so very confused.

Im in the middle.

All attention on me.

All their eyes focused on one thing.

But why!?

Why me?

Why cant it be them?

Or you?

But then you would be in pain.

Oh I get it.

I must take this on for you.

And everyone else.

All those people that might go through this as well.

Man, it feels like hell.

I am stuck in the middle.

No where else to go.

Im like a lost soul.

Always in one place.

Different character.

Same stage.

Sometimes I look in the mirror and see someone else.

She looks so sad.

So damaged.

I wonder what I used to see as my reflection.

But I cant remember anything at all.

Its like I erased all the memories that were painful.

But I go through it so much today.

And I cant erase the present.

Though I wish I could.

My life always seems to be a lie.

They always lie about each other.

How am I supposed to choose?

When I dont know the truth.

Whatever truth is.

I dont even have truth on my lips.

I have learned to lie as well.

So they wont be mad.

But I got myself into this situation.

Thats why they are torn apart.

Because of me.

I think I tore them away from eachother.

But I was so young.

I was too small to say anything.

I cant even speak up for myself today.

I cant protect anyone.

Not even myself.

But I wish I could.

I pray I would.

I know I should.

But life is so hard and I do not try.

Not in the least.

Not even a little bit.

I caused this myself.

I caused my pain.

All that I have gone through.

All the horribe pain.

It was me who caused it.

Thats why Im here.

Thats why I cry.

And never try.

Thats why Im drowning.

Thats why I have pain.

Thats why I lose myself.

I go insane.

But I hide it.

It cant be seen.

Thats why..............I am stuck in between.