The Queen & Her King (sequel to the princess & the lost boy) Completed

Chapter 15: He's A Liar

(Pan's P.O.V.)

This was all my fault. Everything that had happened was because of me. If I hadn't let my anger get the best of me, she would still be on Neverland. With me. Safe. Instead, she was here, in Camelot, because of me. Because I let Rufio get to me, by using her. There was no doubt in my mind of how big an idiot I was, still am.

There was no way that she would return with me once her memories returned. She would want to stay, to protect her people from the Lord Samuel. She would want to fight alongside her men. She would never return. Unless I forced her to, which would only make her hate me. Not that she didn't already before her memories were taken no doubt.

After all, I am the one who sent her away. I made her come back here. I didn't give her much of a choice. I didn't even really bother listening to her. I just sent her away because I couldn't bring myself to kill her. Which is normally something I would have done to anyone who betrayed me, Rufio being a prime example.

I had wanted to though. I had imagined myself killing her, stealing her shadow, and imprisoning it inside Dark Hollow, in a deep corner of the forest where I held all those who had gotten in my way. Then she would never have been able to leave and would suffer the worst fate imaginable. Never being able to see the light. Never being able to feel the warmth of the sun. Never being able to taste anything again. Never being able to hear anything, but the eerie silence that encased the place because no creature would dare venture in there. Never being able to escape. Just trapped...forever. There would be no peace for those in that sector of the forest. They would be in agony. The constant pain of having their shadow ripped from the flesh they had once shared. Their fears and nightmares plaguing them constantly.

But I couldn't subject her to that. Because deep down I knew that she hadn't meant to do what she did. She had been given a love potion. There was no way she could have resisted it. Not when it had been created from fairy magic, and not just any fairy magic, but from the Queen. It was a fight that Ash couldn't have won.

Then again, maybe it was because despite the fact that I felt as if she had betrayed me I knew that I would forgive her. And that scared me. She could do anything, and I would forgive her. She could kill me right now and I would still forgive her. I would still love her. She had managed to worm her way into my heart and make me remember of how I use to be when she came to Neverland when she was younger. I loved her then, quite possibly more so now.

Sending her away nearly ripped what little of a heart I have in half. It was painful sending her away. Almost as if my heart was being torn from my body and being crushed in front of me. The pieces turning into ash as it hit the ground. Her leaving hurt more than when Fiona died, leaving me with the son that had taken her away from me. Only this time, it had been my doing that had sent Ashlynn away.

The girl who waltzed right into my life and flipped it upside down. How she managed to get me wrapped around her finger I didn't know. But I would do anything for her. All she had to do was ask. I would die for her if that's what she wanted.

I'd rather die then watch her die. She deserves to live, far more than I. If she were to die, it would only be my fault. She was in this mess because of me. She came to Neverland because of me. She almost died because of me once before, multiple times.

Looking at her now, I can't help but wonder whether or not she would have been better off without me. If she had never known me, she would have had a different life. Maybe a better one. One where she wasn't constantly trying to be murdered by my own shadow. She deserves better, far better than I could offer her. And yet, I can't let her go. I need her more than she probably needs me.

"You should eat," she announced, breaking the silence that had set between us, not making any eye contact.

"Have you eaten anything?" I inquired.