Chimera | H.S Mature

15.

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*Harry's POV*

"Harry Styles stop right there" Daniella said as I attempted to pad silently behind her and back to my room without her noticing. I sighed and my shoulders slumped as she turned to face me, her back resting against the kitchen counter and a mug of tea in her hand.

"Hey Dani, didn't see you there" I lied nervously. I think over the past couple of days I hadn't given my sister enough credit, she had clearly noticed much more than I had assumed and was no longer prepared to accept my excuse of 'I went for a walk'.

"Shut up. Where did you do this time? And if you say you 'went for a walk' one more time I'm going to kill you" she said with a hard stare.

"I, um, well I was just-" I began but I gave up as she raised a brow at me and took a sip of her tea. Dani had always been able to tell when I was lying, and even though she had clearly and understandably been too distracted to really give it much thought the past couple of days, her gaze told me she wasn't prepared to take my crap any more.

"I was with Samantha" I breathed. Dani lowered her cup.

"You were with Detective White?" she asked.

"Yes"

"Just now?"

"Yes"

"And last night?"

"Yes"

She let her eyes fall to the ground before returning them to me.

"And I'm guessing you weren't talking about me" she said.

"No" I replied. She was silent for a several minutes as she studied me with thoughtful eyes, I guess wondering why I decided that now was a good time to show any kind of interest in a girl. I had been the first time in years since I had tried this kind of thing, but my attempts back then had been quickly squashed by him and I had decided it would be pointless to try again. But something was pulling me towards Samantha, a need to see her, talk to her, to feel that momentary sense of relief that only see could provide me. He was quiet when she was around, and that silence was something I had never experienced in all my 23 years.

"Why now Harry?" she asked with an exasperated sighed, one which I reciprocated.

"I don't know Dani. Just after the first time we saw her I couldn't stop thinking about her but I didn't have a way to see her if you weren't there. You know I have issues Dani, you know something's not right with me but she helps, she makes me feel normal, even if it is for a little while" I explained. I had never explained to my sister the true extent of what was going on inside me. I had never told her that my twin brother hadn't just died in the womb, he had been absorbed by me and was now living there, taking over my body and fucking with my head at every opportunity he got. I didn't really understand what was happening myself but I knew what he could do, and I knew that I was truly terrified of him.

"Does she know?" she asked.

"No, but I think she knows something is wrong with me. There was a moment last night and I had to run to the bathroom to keep calm. But she wants to help me Dani, I think almost as much as she wants to help you" I said.

She sighed. Dani had been living with my violent, uncontrollable mood swings almost her entire life, she called me bi-polar once, and I genuinely believe she thinks that is what's wrong with me. I've never taken the time to correct her. But I knew she was not one to question this, perhaps she had seen the changes in me as much as I had felt them, and despite the fact I knew deep down she wanted Samantha to focus on her case and nothing else, she wouldn't take this away from me.

"Do you think anyone else knows? About the two of you spending time together outside of her work?" she asked.

"I don't know, I don't think so. Although she did ask me to park around the corner when I dropped her off after lunch. I was a bit hurt at first cause I thought she just didn't want to be seen with me, but I suppose it would make sense if she was worried what people would think if they saw us together" I said.

"Well then maybe you need to stop seeing her at work then. If she is worried about being caught, and she has every reason to be so, then maybe you should invite her here" she said. I looked at her with wide eyes.

"Invite her here, to my flat? What if she says no?" I said, worry leaking into my voice. Rejection was something I had become use to, but from Sam I feared it would hurt more than any other I had received before.

"Yeah, why not? If you still want to see her and she is worried about her job, then invite her here. It's private and you would have time to just get to know her without anyone else around. I'll stay out the way if you want" she said. My fingers fiddled nervously in front of me as I flicked my eyes between hers before letting them fall to the floor. She sighed and placed down her cup before making her way towards me.

"Harry" she said gently, taking my hands in her and separating them. She placed her fingers beneath my chin and forced me to look at her. "I know you're scared of getting hurt again, but you have to try this" she said, her soft eyes gazing into my own.

"You can't punish yourself for what has happened by never letting yourself be happy again. If what you say is true and she wants to help you, then let her. Let her make her own judgement of you, and if you can keep whatever happens in your head under control, I promise she'll see how wonderful you are" she said. I sniffled and leaned forward, letting my head fall against her shoulders and wrapping my arms around her waist. Dani let out a breathy laugh and stood up on her tiptoes, wrapping her arms around my shoulders.

"Come on baby brother, you can do this" she breathed into my hair and I nodded into her shoulder.

I wanted so badly to believe her, but I knew my own self-destructive qualities better than anyone, and my attempts at happiness never ended well.