apology

ten

bonus update cause i don't have school today :) before I start, a huge thanks to all my readers so far heh <3 400+ reads and 100+ votes may be a small number to some, but to me it's everything i could ever ask for ㅠㅠ i love you guys xo

back to the book HAHA

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December 18, 2015, 3 p.m.

"Come on!" Taehyung whines, following me as I walk out of the bedroom and into the living room.

I try my best to ignore him, plopping down on the couch and covering my ears with both hands, squeezing my eyes shut. "I don't want to!" I protest without looking at him, knowing that I'll lose my game if I give him so much as a glance.

My brother pries my hands away from my ears, forcing me to open my eyes. "Look," he says, more serious than ever, "you can't just keep avoiding him for the rest of your life. Show him how well you're doing without him. Besides, it's your brother's first Music Bank performance for HYYH pt.2. You're going to miss that just because of your shitty ex-boyfriend?"

I roll my eyes. "Since when were you the face-the-music type? Why weren't you like that when you knew that my shitty ex-boyfriend was cheating on me?" I challenge.

Taehyung's face falls, his hands immediately releasing mine and stuffing themselves into his pockets. He turns his face from me to hide his expression, but I can still tell that he probably isn't feeling too good.

A wave of guilt overwhelms me as I look at my brother. Deep inside, I know that keeping it from me was his own way of protecting me, but still. 

"...let's go," I mutter, getting up from the couch and walking past him towards the doorway.

"W-what?"

"Let's go," I repeat, rolling my eyes as I turn to face him, hating myself for giving in.

A beam replaces Taehyung's remorseful expression as he heads towards me, but falters as his eyes rake my body. "In... that...?" He gestures to my plain, over-sized white T-shirt and black yoga pants.

"Before I change my mind," I warn, glaring at him.

He raises his hands in 'surrender', before taking my hand and pulling me out the door without another word.

***

After around 45 minutes of music by idols whom I've never heard of, BTS finally takes the stage at Music Bank.

Fans cheer as the instrumental to their title song 'Run' starts to play, the spotlight shining to focus on the six members. The fan chants get louder as the missing member, Taehyung, walks onstage towards his fellow band-mates, his face mirroring the rest of the members' - expressionless, with a little bit of anger even.

I wonder if something happened between them backstage. The atmosphere is so much tenser than when they took the stage at their HYYH concert a few days before.

"Neon nae hanappunin taeyang, sesange ttak hana," Namjoon, the leader, starts to rap the first verse as the rest of the members get into formation. 

I can't help but notice Jimin and Hoseok, looking even handsomer than before. They're wearing similar-looking baseball jackets, Hoseok's black hair naturally flopping down onto his forehead while Jimin's orange hair is gelled into a center-parting. 

As much as I don't want to, my eyes lock with Yoongi's as he starts to rap his verse. Unlike the ache that I expected myself to feel, disgust fuels me instead. My mind flashes back to yesterday - Yoongi pounding into the woman, and him begging for me to stay afterwards.

Bile rises in my throat, and I cover my mouth as I rush out of the concert hall, just as Jungkook starts to dominate the chorus. 

Seven pairs of eyes follow me as I exit the room, but the boys continue to perform anyways - it's not like they can stop the performance, can they?

I rush into the nearest washroom and heave into the toilet bowl, the contents of my stomach emerging with one violent contraction. The vomit came up looking like clam chowder and smelling like acidic Cheetos - just the look of it makes me want to puke again. 

I hastily flush the toilet bowl, before stumbling to the sink and starting to rinse my mouth. 

"Ew, what's that smell?" a sweet voice that doesn't match its owner's slutty tone speaks from behind me. 

I look up, catching a glimpse of a beautiful fair-skinned girl. She looks around the same age as me, her lipstick matching the color of her dark red curly hair. Her almond-shaped eyes form a distasteful frown, and a hand covers her cute button nose in disgust. 

"I'm so sorry," I apologize instantly, bowing as a sign of apology.

She shoots a glare at me before turning back towards the exit of the restroom, but suddenly falters in her footsteps as she stares at the doorway with widened eyes.

Curious, I turn to match her gaze, my gaze falling on the seven members of BTS, who have just finished their performance. 

"Jimin-oppa!" the girl exclaims, rushing forward with her arms extended. Jimin's eyes widen in shock as the girl throws her arms around his neck. "I missed you!" she says cutely.

"Dabin? What are you doing here?" Jimin frowns, gently pushing the girl - Dabin - away from him.

"I heard that you're performing today, so I came to give you my support!" she explains happily.

Meanwhile, the rest of BTS walk past the pair and towards me, as if it's perfectly fine for men to walk into a female restroom if they're hot and famous. 

"Are you okay?" Taehyung asks, grabbing me by my shoulders as Hoseok hands me a piece of tissue to wipe my wet mouth. 

"I'm okay," I tell him with a small smile, feeling small in front of the six tall boys. 

"You guys know each other?" Dabin asks, face slightly scrunching up.

"She's V's sister," Jimin explains briefly, before walking past her and joining the rest of the members in front of me. "You idiot, why did you come if you're feeling unwell? You stank up the whole bathroom!" Jimin frowns, nudging my forehead with his index finger.

I glare at him while sticking my tongue out. Can't he just stay nice for a day? Dabin laughs mockingly, agreeing with Jimin. Somehow, a sour feeling forms in my chest as I watch the two, Dabin with her arm hooked around Jimin's elbow.

Jungkook coughs, an attempt to ease the awkward atmosphere. 

"We have to go now," Namjoon announces, although it sounds more like 'let's get the hell out of here before it gets even more awkward'. The others nod, shuffling out of the bathroom one by one. Yoongi's gaze lingers on me as he leaves, and I look away quickly, feeling nausea rising all over again. 

"Could you help take care of her?" Taehyung asks Dabin just as he's about to leave.

Dabin smiles sweetly in reply. "Of course!" she almost sings. 

Taehyung nods his thanks, glancing at me for the last time before turning to follow the rest. 

I heave a sigh once they're all gone, somehow feeling as if a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders.

"Listen," Dabin snaps while turning towards me, her sweetness all gone once the members are out of earshot. "Park Jimin is mine."

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i'm so sorry i know this chapter was really bad zz ><

:hoseokieomo 

p.s. this is also an early update because i don't think i can update on friday :< i'll try my best to though!

p.p.s. this is actually based on a real music bank performance by bts on december 18, 2015 ahah :>

p.p.p.s 'neon nae hanappunin taeyang, sesange ttak hana' = you're my only sun, one and only in this world