Self harm

04

I woke up at the hospital and as soon as my eyes opened I groaned. Why did Hunter have to save me. He knew I wanted to die and he was the one who told me to go die. Why didn't he just let it happen. The world would be better if I was gone. I saw hunters head pop up and he smiled so big and he said "YOURE AWAKE YOUR ACTUALLY AWAKE!!" He called for a nurse and one came in. She said that I was in a coma for 3 months and that I suffered from depression.... NAH WHAT?!?( note sarcasm ) she gave me some pain meds for my head and she left. Hunter was the only one in the room. I asked him where my and his family was.
"Maddie, your mom and dad didn't care that you tried to kill yourself. They left you. They moved to L.A. They said they would have a better life without you there. And my mom and brothers are out getting food.
I was crying. I didn't know how to stop it. I mean yeah my mom and dad abused me but they were still my parents....... I still loved them. How could they just abandon me?? I had no place to stay. I was in ninth grade I couldn't afford to live by myself. I was homeless...... I thought. Christine walked in the room and saw that I was awake. She dropped the food and ran to me and hugged me as tight as she could and she didn't let go for what seemed like a year. I giggled and said hi. She seemed happy to see me. That was surprising, no ones ever happy to see me. She gave me the food since it was still in the bag and told me to eat. I was pretty hungry actually considering I've been sleeping for 3 months. The nurse came in and said that I could leave anytime I wanted but since I suffer from depression I would often have suicidal thoughts and someone needed to keep and eye on me. I thought that that was a bit stupid since I'd pretty much be homeless but then Christine said she would keep a very sharp eye on me. I gave her a confused look and she said that I was moving in with them.
"ARE YOU KIDDING?!! I kinda screamed
"Well no, but honey you'll love it at my place. I'll take good care of you and so will Hunter!" She said calmly while smiling
"I AM NOT GONNA MOVE IN WITH MY BULLY. THATS NOT GONNA HAPPEN. NOT TODAY!" This time I did scream. I was angry.
The nurses calmed me down while Christine signed some papers so I could go home with them. The whole car ride was silent. Absolutely silent. I didn't have anything to say and I don't think anyone else did  either after the way I reacted in there. We finally got home to their house and I grabbed my bags Christine packed for me while I was in a comma cause she knew I'd be living with them. I got in the house and quickly realized the "guest room" I'd be staying in was actually hunters. I groaned and put my stuff on the top bunk. Hunter said I could have the bottom since it was bigger and he would take the top. I said that was very nice of him and he said anything for my princess. I looked at him weird because he always bullied me and now he's just gonna act like it never happened?! Hunter noticed the weird look I gave him and told me to come sit down. I did. I guess he was gonna explain some shit to me.
"Maddie look, I know I messed up bad and I regret all of it. I regret hurting you physically and mentally. If I could take back all of it I would. Every night I would cry myself to sleep and some nights I wouldn't even be able to go to sleep knowing the things I did  to you at school and then you had to go home and get bullied even more. I know you have a hard life and that's why I want to start all over. Be like we were when we were young. We were Best friends. You were always there for me and I was always there for you. I want it to be like that again. I know you already gave me a second chance and I messed it up but give me one more chance and I will treat you the way you deserve  to be treated. When you were in the hospital for 3 months I thought I lost you. I couldn't bare loosing you knowing I was the cause. I just want you to be happy again." Hunter said. He was crying too.
I looked him in the eye. I would probably regret this but YOLO I grabbed Hunter by the face and kissed him. He was very shocked and I could tell but he kissed me back. We pulled away and looked in each other's eyes. I heard him mumble thank you. All I did was smile. It was fake though. I was happy to be with him and all but I don't think I could ever put on a real smile again. I've been hurt to much, not just by Hunter but by everyone in general.