#JustWriteIt #TrueStory Thru my eyes into my mind

There is something around every corner.

You do not know what is behind every corner. Behind every corner it can be something that can be good, but it can also be something that can be bad. You can have more of the other, but you have both any way.

I have got many bad once because I am so called scared of everything. I am afraid of trying new things, because I like to know things and have control over the situation I am in. But for the last two years I am trying to come out from my comfort zone. I can say from my point of view that those things made me, at first, freak out a bit, but then those things were not so bad at all. But I still take baby step and it is find by me, then doing nothing at all.

Doing things are not the hard part for me, it is the people in the things I do. In some weird way I am afraid of people, not just strangers but also people I do know. Why I have not figure it out yet. I have no problem when people come up to me, it is when I go up to them. I do not know how to start a conversation. Otherwise when I talk to strangers I can just gabble about anything that comes up into my mind. 

One other thing that makes me afraid of people is because I do not know how they think, but it is because I do not know them. I always wondering, how do you start a conversation with a stranger? 

Other thing that I forgot to mention is that when I am in a big crowd of people I do not really get the feeling to get to know anyone. I hide in the corner there no one sees me and hope for that no one does. It is a bad way of thinking, but I always says that me and peolpe do not work together.

But I still have my reason to why I am the way I am, and it is because that people around me when I grew up have not treating me well in the past. When I was little I was the one taking the first step, so I think now that I want someone eles need to do the same thing for me. Also because I was a very outgoing person, I was the one taking care of the new classmate everytime we got one. When I think about it, there are my answer. Because of I got served with people I still got it programed in my head. That is maybe why I am shy now, because I really did not got the change to make my own friends. Or maybe there are something more to it then just this. What do I really know, but I should know it because nobody knows me better then me or am I wrong?