The secret~SPOBY

Missing pieces

****Flash back to when Spencer and Toby broke up because Toby was in London for 2 years****

"I can't keep doing this, Toby," I pleaded. "Please, just stay!"
"I can't! I'll get fired!" Toby replied.
"You'll be going away for 2 years! 2 Years!" I yelled at him. "You're always gone. I don't want to keep doing this with you. It happens every time you leave!"
"You think I want to leave!" Toby yelled back. "You think u want to abandon you?"
"Well, maybe you do!" I answered. "Maybe it's better if your not abandoning me!" Years were rolling down my face now and there was nothing I could do to stop them.
"Are you saying we should break up?" Toby asked, hurt flooding in his voice.
"If your going to be in London all the time it's hard for me to see a future with us. And if you can't see a future what's the point?" I said, not able to look at him.
"Yeah." He said, dryly. "I guess your right, as usual."
We stood there in silence for a minute. I didn't let myself look at him, if I did I knew I would throw myself into his arms and take back everything.
"I better be going. I'm gonna miss my flight." He left the house a the sound of the door shutting was like a a gun shot.
It took me a few minutes before I realized what I'd done so I ran after him as fast as I could. But I was too late. He was already long gone. I sat there and cried for hours before my mom came home.

A few weeks later...
I was still upset over my break up with Toby. I had almost bought a plane ticket to London to apologize but my mom had to stop me.
I had been throwing up for days now, but I was too heartbroken to think anything of it. My friends were worried though.
"Spencer, I don't think your ok," Emily said. "You've been throwing up every morning this week."
"are you pregnant?" Hanna asked.
"No," I answered.
"Are you sure? Have you taken a test?" Aria asked.
"No," I answered again.
"Maybe you should,"

They brought me a test and we waited. And waited. And waited.
"Spence, it's been more that 3 minutes, you wanna check it now?" Hanna asked.
"No," I said. But I stood and reached for the pregnancy test anyway. I flipped it over and cried. Pregnant.
"You have to call Toby," Emily said.
"No. I don't." I said. "He doesn't have to know."
"Well, he's gonna find out sometime." Aria said.
"No. I can't be a mother. Not without Toby. I'm not keeping this baby," I decided
"Adoption or abortion?" Emily asked.
"I'm not sure I could kill a living thing, adoption." I decided.
"We'll support you, spence, in whatever you choose," Hanna said. "Yeah" Aria and Emily agreed.
"Adoption it is then." I said, mostly to myself. "But you guys have to promise not to ever tell Toby."
"We promise," they all said.

9 months later...

"Do you want to hold your daughter before you give it away?" The doctor that had just delivered my child asked.
I shook my head vigorously. "I can't be a mother," I cried.
"Ok, then," the doctor gave my new born to a nurse who left the room. I only got to see a glimpse of her before she was put in someone else's arms.

That night I cried myself to sleep. And then continued the trend for weeks on end.

End of flashback

I sat at my computer staring at the child finer website that I had pulled up. Could Lilli be my daughter? I thought to myself long and hard, thousands of questions filling my mind. What would Toby say? Would Toby find out? Would I tell him?