Cringey Writing from 2012 by Fire

104 13 14
                                    

Ahem. Fire here with an excerpt from my first book, The Fire Within, that was written in 2012. The cringe is entirely too real and it is taking all my willpower to post this. Enjoy and feel free to laugh and cringe with me.

-----------------------------

Jayfeather could smell all his clanmates fear. The encounter with Shadowstar had shaken everyone up. She had extremely powerful magic, connected to darkness. She was Blackstar's ancestor, and her magic had made Blackstar a very powerful cat. He was, however, not strong enough to overcome a wave of dark magic. This cat meant to kill some of Shadowclan, that was for sure. A wave of nausea flooded over Jayfeather. He had always hated fighting, being a medicine cat. Blood always smelled stronger to him, and he hated it. This she cat wanted revenge for something, and Jayfeather intended to find out.

Lionblaze was scared. It didn't happen to him very often, he just was. This cat seemed to powerful. She had the power to destroy a wolf, then she could easily destroy a clan. Shadowclan was in danger, that was for sure. Suddenly, Lionblaze caught a whiff of the scent that terrified him the most. Smoke. He looked around, and above the tall pines of Shadowclan, Lionblaze saw a wisp of smoke twisting and curling slowly upward. Something was going on, and Lionblaze was intending to find out.

Dovewing was shaking. This cat had unnerved her, and had made her unsettled. Her power to kill a wolf that quickly and harshly seemed strange to her. A tingly, sickening scent filled her nostrils. The scent of smoke was overpowering, and Dovewing had a strong feelIng that the she cat had something to do with the fire. She stole a glance at Bramblestar to see what he was doing, but he looked deep in thought. Dovewing sent her senses out to Shadowclan, and saw a bright fire traveling fast through the pines. She tried to look further, into Shadowclan camp, but a strange darkness blocked her way. Dovewing had to get to the bottom of this cat's story, and she intended to right then.

------------

Where are my grammar skills help

CloudtailGrandmas Randomness Book!Wo Geschichten leben. Entdecke jetzt