Falling Apart

Chapter 2 - Mummy...?

I can hardly keep my eyes open but I don't close them. I just keep staring at the blood trailing down my arm and dripping onto the now blood stained floor tiles.

Suddenly, I hear a bang and a creak of the bathroom door. Then speaking and giggling follows. My body jerks my slouching figure up with the very little energy I have left but that doesn't last for long because I fall back to the floor straight away. I hit my head on the door lock before collapsing to the floor on a messy state.

"What was that?" I hear one of the girls say.
"Looks like someone's period leaked!" Another girl laughs as she sees some blood trickle under the door and out of the cubicle.
"No, I don't think that's someone's period..." I manage to make out the first girl saying. Right now, because of my lack of energy, I have no control over my limbs so my arm decides to fall from my side and right next to the cubicle door which is visible from the outside.
"Oh my effing God! Shit! Fuck! Argh!" The first girl curses as I hear horrified screeches, screams and cries, "guys, help me. We need to open the door! No, don't hurt her. Careful." I hear them trying to unlock the door from the outside, their urgent instructions...

My eyes don't have enough strength to stay open anymore, but I'm sure I can hear that they have managed to open the door now. I feel hands lock around my arms. Strong grasps on my legs and someone supporting my back by wrapping their arms around my waist.

I still feel the warm liquid dribbling down my arms as I'm rushed out of he bathroom while one of the girls calls the ambulance... I think...
There is a sharp pain in my head that feels worse than my very common migraines.
My heart beat is rapid and bouncing uncontrollably in my chest and the last thing I hear before all sound disappears, before all I see is black and before my limbs decide to collapse is...

"Hello, Ambulance? I think a girl has just tried to kill herself!"

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"Mummy? Is that you?" I ask when I finally open my eyes. She looks just like her... But, how could it be?
She... She killed herself... And I was the one to find her...

The vision pierces my mind and soul. I was running upstairs to go to bed but I was being as quiet as a mouse. I thought mummy was already asleep so I didn't want to wake her up. I climbed under my covers and closed my hands when I heard something fall. It sounded like a chair or something like that...

By now, I feel the warm tears rolling down my face, across my cheeks, swelling red bags under my eyes and a trembling bottom lip.

It sounded like it came from mummy's room so I jumped out of bed and walked toward the room. Now all was silent... I was scared but I still pushed the door open...

Sometimes I wish I wasn't so curious. I wish I hadn't opened that door. I wish I could have just fallen asleep instead.

In my head, I was screaming so loud that it would crack every window across the whole of my country. However, no sound came out. I zoned out and I was paralysed. My eyes turned into waterfalls and my breath went warm while I breathed faster and faster. My heart felt like it was going to explode from its 'cracked-into-pieces' state. My legs turned weak and I collapsed to the floor. My eyes were bloodshot and stuck open; forced to look at the image in front of me. My mouth gaped like a fish out of water and tears just kept streaming down my face.
Now the sound decided to come out. I screamed louder than ever. It was mixed with painful cries and calling out to her. Every nerve in my body was screaming at me, as the pain gripped my head like a clenched fist. I curled into a ball and howled like a wounded animal. I was in agony...

I couldn't peel the view out of my eyes. All I could see was my mother's pale, lifeless body. Her once full cheeks were droopy and grey. Her pale skin was translucent. It was almost purple under her eyes and limp and sagging with wrinkles. Her skin was a mass of sores and peeling skin. The swollen, red blisters twisted her lips into a grimace. She had a black eye; angry and dark.

She was hanging in a loop of rope from the ceiling...

"Yes, of course it's me darling." She replies, once I can finally think again. My face is burning and my eyes as sore from my salty tears.

"But... You're dead. Does that mean I'm dead too. That I can... I can finally be with you again?" I ask as I rush towards her. She stands on a cliff edge. She always loved the sea-side...

"No... You're not dead sweetie."

"I want to be though, mummy." I wrap my arms around her limp body.

"No, I'm not going to let you."

"Why not? My life is pointless."

"No! No! Your life is special, you are so precious. You're going to stay right where you are now."

"Why does everyone hurt me then? Even dad! He hurt you!"

"I don't know, I really don't know but you need to stay for me, okay?"

"No! I want to stay with you! You left me once, I won't let you do it again! You have to come back with me!" I beg with tear filled eyes.

"I can't but you will go back okay? You're going to wake up. You're going to get better. You're going to do it all for me okay?"

"What, no! I don't want to..." I scream as I seem to be moving further and further away from my mother. "Mummy!" I shout one last time before I can't see her at all anymore...