THIRTY-FOUR.
I opened my eyes slowly and saw Azrael sitting in the couch beside me while staring at the huge flatscreen in front of us, wait, what the fuck?!
"Azrael, answer me damn it, am I fucking dead?" I asked fearfully, I mean, Azrael is an angel! Baka ay nandito na ako sa heaven.
Oh. Wait. Why am I in heaven? I am supposed to rot in hell, remember? Oh shit. I'm starting to get stupid! I'm supposed to be in hell and not in heaven for crying out loud!
"No, you're not, Alexa." He said while sighing, nanonood siya ng TV at nakatingin lang doon, not even bothering to look at me.
What the hell is his problem! Why can't he look at me!
"Why are you here, Azrael? Alam na ba nila Thean kung asan ako?" I asked him but to no avail, his head didn't turn and still focusing in the TV.
I rolled my eyes, stood up, turned the fucking television off and faced him.
"Dammit Azrael! Ano?! You won't answer?!" I shouted in front of him, my eyebrows knitted, and I'm raging with anger.
But my face softens when I saw Azrael's face. He's crying. Why is he crying? I breathed deeply and sat in the bed again, "What's the problem, Azrael?" I whispered softly at him while caressing his back.
His tears are continuing to fall, I closed my eyes. I can't bear seeing Azrael like this.
"I-I have been ca-cast out from Heaven, Lex." He cried at my shoulders.
I stiffened but I hugged Azrael immediately, "Why? What happened?" Tanong ko sakanya, he seems broken.
He needs a friend and a hug.
Hinayaan ko lang si Azrael na yumakap saakin and when he stopped crying, I waited for him to tell me everything. It's been a while since I talked to him. Simula nung nalaman ko na kaya siya hindi nagpakita saakin noon ay kasama niya ang nephilim na iyon ay hindi na kami nakapagusap ulit. And I feel really bad right now.
And besides, he's always gone whenever we're in our private mansion.
Azrael look so broken that I can't even look at his face for so long, hindi ko kayang tignan siya ng ganyan, I'm used to the cocky and happy Azrael. Not this one.
"When I was young, palagi akong pinababantayan, baka daw kasi may gawin akong mali. Our Father, God, always seems so far away. At minamaliit din ako doon." He started talking, I sighed, took his hand and grasped it while he's talking.
"April 16, 1993. That was the day a prophecy have been made since the last one 100 years ago. One of the God's prophet made it. Nakasaad sa propesiya na magkakaroon ng malaking gyera sa pagitan nating lahat. Kasama ang mga tao."
Azrael started crying again, hinigpitan ko ang hawak ko sa kamay niya.
"March 24, 1997. The second part of the prophecy was made. It says there that on that war, masisira ang Heaven and... and Lucifer will rise." He muttered.
He closed his eyes as if he's so afraid to tell this to me. I stared at Azrael, he already knew that a war might break in? I saw Azrael's tears fell again. But for no apparent reason, I can already hear my heart pounding out of nervousness like my heart already knew there was a bad news coming.
"September 29, 1997." He whispered then looked at me, "That day. The last part of the prophecy have been made. Nakasaad doon na sa araw na iyon ipinanganak ang taong gagawa ng gyera. And that person, could be the cause of peace or the Earth's destruction."
I stared at Azrael, wide-eyed, nabitawan ko na din ang kamay niya and Azrael looks so sorry for me, "Are you familiar with that dates, Lex?"
I breathed deeply and nodded slowly, I can't even think straight! I can't absorb those things that Azrael said, "What are those dates, Lex?" He asked, almost whispering.
A tear fell from my left eye, "The first date is Cody's birthday." I muttered, "The second one is Jenna's."
"Ano ang pangatlo, Lex?" He asked, I looked at him, almost looking scared, then I whispered two words,
"My birthday."
Tumango si Azrael, "Nang malaman ko ang tungkol sainyong tatlo, I immediately thought that it was my chance to prove myself to my brothers and sisters, to our Father. Kaya kahit ayaw nila ay bumaba ako from Heaven and befriended you."
Halos hindi ako makahinga. I can't believe it. No. No. This must be a joke, right?! Pinagtritripan lang ako ni Azrael and any minute ay lalabas na si Thean! I can't... I... dammit!! My emotions right now are all mixed up. I can't think properly.
All these time he knew and he never told me? He never warned me?
"Ang plano ko ay pigilan mangyari ang gyera. To stop you from doing things that would led you to it. But then I fell in love, with Joy, at nung panahong kasama ko siya ay nasa Pennsylvania ka na. I was so angry at myself for letting this happen. I was so angry at myself, Lex. Inisip ko na baka tama nga ang mga kapatid ko sa Heaven. I'm useless. Everything I do would lead to worst things." He cried again.
I want to comfort him so bad. So damn bad.
But I can't even comfort Azrael right now. How could I comfort him when... when I can't even understand it myself. Mixed emotions flow over my heart, hindi ko alam kung bakit ako naiiyak, knowing this things.
Azrael kneeled, took my hand and cried, "I'm so sorry Lex. Sorry. I'm so sorry. Kung hindi lang ako nadistract ay baka hindi nangyari ito. If I were smart enough! I would never leave your side."
I cried with him, hindi ko alam kung bakit but I'm fucking hurting. I touched my chest while I cried, sa sobrang bigat nito ay gusto ko na lang mawala. I want to escape everything.
I just want to escape. Please.
"Azrael, I can't handle it. Everyone's lives are in my hands. I can't fucking handle it." I scaredly said when we both calmed down at nakaupo na siya ulit katapat ko.
He nodded, sad was written all over his face, "Don't worry, Lex. You're not alone. Tutulungan kita." He comforted, tinanguan ko siya ng dahan-dahan at mas lalong hinigpitan ang kapit sa kamay niya.
I stared at him, "Why did they cast you out, Azrael?" I muttered.
He looked away, "Sabi nila ay wala na kong ginawang tama. So they casted me out of Heaven." He mumbled.
"Azrael, where have you been all this time?" I whisperingly asked.
"I've been fighting with your parents, Lex. That's why I became suspicious towards First and her brothers. But today is not the right time for that. I'm so sorry, Lex." He pleaded, I smiled faintly and hug him.
I trust First and everyone. And I hope they won't break it or I'll break their heart, literally.
As hours go by, no one talked, we just sat there quietly while thinking for the things that we fucking did and hope that didn't. I can't fucking believe that I could be the cause of Earth's destruction.
Damn it! I closed my eyes, sinabi sa prophecy that I could be the reason for peace or destruction.
And I am choosing peace.
I will stop this war.
Kahit buhay ko pa ang kapalit ay gagawin ko.
I will end what I started.
