Raise A Glass {Lams}

::Five::

hi, so before i get on w the chapter... ME AND MY BEST FRIEND (awesomemaddan) MET LESLIE ODOM JR AND THAT WAS AWESOME!

We went to his concert and album signing in barnes and nobles today and it was fantastic, he's got such an amazing voice!

Then there was a CD signing so we got to meet him and take pictures. (yeah, i looked like a potato because i was so flustered and excited and nervous)

But yeah, it was really insanely awesome and I still can't believe that it actually happened. 

"What's wrong mon ami?" Laf had asked John, running a hand through John's messy hair and tying it back for him. "You seem sad."

He and Hercules had gotten back at around 5 in the morning and were both extremely jet lagged. 

"I'm fine," John said, his voice wavering. "Just...I'm alright."

Herc and Laf exchanged glances. "What happened with Alexander?" Hercules asked. 

"Nothing." John said, immediately. Too quickly for their taste. "I'm just a little stressed. Y'know, senior year coming up. Adult life." 

"Alright  tortue." Lafayette said, affectionately. He knew John was a sensitive person who'd rather be alone to wallow in his own pity if something was really seriously bothering him. And Laf knew better than to push Laurens into saying something he didn't want to. At the moment, he was too drained from traveling to deal with John's tears. Same goes for Hercules. 

John laid his head on their dining table and traced circles around the wooden top with his finger, frowning. 

"I'm tired," Hercules announced. "I think I'm gonna go to sleep."

"same here," Lafayette said, following Herc into the bedroom. John prayed that they were only going to sleep because he wasn't in the mood to hear anything other than snores. 

Once they were gone, John went to go sit on the couch. He grabbed the thick blue blanket they kept on their couch and draped it over his shoulders. His curled up on his side and began to play a turtle documentary, his remedy for a heartbreak. 

But this was no ordinary heartbreak. 

This was Alexander Hamilton heartbreak. That was something you can't deal with. Not in a million years. 

John felt like a sponge that had all it's water soaked out. He still felt sad and numb but all his tears had poured out of him. 

That didn't stop just a single tear from escaping and trickling down his freckled cheek. He brushed it away.

Alexander, of course, walked in at that exact moment. 

He halted suddenly, upon seeing John in the state that he was. Guilt and shame rose in him. I did this to John, he thoughts. I was the one that took away his cheerfulness and energy. This is all my fault. 

John sat up, he looked Alexander straight in the eye. 

"Hi Hamilton," He said, his voice sounding hurt and innocent and scared, all at the same time. "How are you?"

"I'm," Alex cleared his throat. "I'm doing fine. You?"

John didn't change expressions. "I'm good. I was just going into my room, now." 

He grabbed the blanket and ran off into his own room, slamming the door. Alex sighed, sitting down on the couch. 

He can't even stand to be in the same room as me, he thinks, upset. Alex places his elbows on his knees, thinking.

He thinks, mainly, about how much he wants to lay on John's bed and thread his fingers through John's hair. 

Alex just grabs his laptop and a beer and begins to drink and type his sorrows away. 

John peeked out of his room, the next morning. Alexander was still on the couch, his laptop on his lap but his head to a pillow beside him, snoring softly. 

John smiled, softly. He crept out of his room and crouched down by the couch to get at Alex's level. John got a good look at Alex's tired eyes, dark bags underneath them. 

John put his hand against Alex's jaw and planted a kiss on Alexander's cheeks. He put a blanket over Alexander. 

"I love you," He whispered. He had never said 'i love you' to Alex before. But he did, he really did. It was always Alexander in his mind. Never anyone else. He loved the man, more than he could comprehend. He just did, you can't turn off love, even if the other one doesn't reciprocate such feelings. 

John felt tears well in his soft eyes. 

Alexander had slurred that he would chose John. 

Why was I so naive? thinks John. A part of him actually hoped that Alex would chose John. 

"It was always you," John murmurs, before getting up and starting breakfast.

Soon, Hercules and Lafayette came out of their room. They sat at the table. 

"Should we wake up Alex?" Hercules asks. John steals a glance at the sleeping boy. His lips twitches up in a half smile. 

"No," he says. "Let him sleep." 

sorry it was so short :(