Peeta's Baby - Everlark

Chapter 13: Wrong time, right place.

Katniss's pov:

The glittering light in the blue orbs I am staring intensely at is something I never have seen before. The pure glint in them is so unreal. So... wonderful but scarring at the same time. I have never been the woman to use big words, but right in this moment, I am lost for any form for words. I had never imagined that such a small creature could create such a spark of happiness deep down in my heart, just by looking at me. I begin to feel the guilt boiling up inside me. The guilt of having brought this unsuspecting defenceless poor thing into so much mess. It is unforgivable and was selfish of me to do so. And I don't think that I will ever forgive myself for it.

My lips is turning upwards into a small smile when I let my fingers roam over the soft fabric of the sleeve, while I hold the small hand in my much bigger one. My thumb are carefully caressing over the silky hand as my eyes examines the lighter glow of the brownish curly hair on its head. Its hard for me to understand why something so small, but still so powerful can turn my world upside down in the matter of a second. I guess you can call it the power of love.

Love. Such a simple, but confusing word. Peeta used love in almost every sentience he said about me. "My love." "My loving Katniss." "You look lovely tonight." But the word that frighten me most is

"I love you."

I can tell that I love Peeta, but if I really did love him that much.. then why drag him in this situation? My answer is that, I don't know. I just don't know. The thing is just that it was my heart, fighting what was easiest and what was right. Its not right for anyone to go through what we are. I just need to keep in my head that this is really my fault. All of it.

Here I am sitting, on a bed in a strangers house, holding the one little thing I never in my life wanted. That I was scared to see and scared to love. The little bundle of joy that I had been carrying inside of me for 9 months. My baby girl.

....

38 hours earlier that day:

"Yes. Yes, I understand but.... Yes. No... The station!?.... When!?.. ah ha... Yes. Thank you." The loud bang of the phone hitting the hard surface of the wooden table, makes us all jump in surprise. The redness on police officer Abernathy's face tells me that the phone call he just hanged up on wasn't the best one in his career. The grip Effie has on my arm indicates that she got more frightened of the officers outburst, than any other. I watch as Mr. Abernathy takes a paper block and a pen before he writes down the informations he received from who ever it was on the phone line. We have heard nothing on where Peeta could be with the baby. Not since he made the surprise visit in my apartment a week ago and it's making me wondering, if he really did escape out of the city.

My head is filled with thousands of question over the things he said to me when we were standing in my living room. He wants to sacrifice himself for the babys, our daughter's, safety. Even if it mean that he will spend the half of his life behind jail. I was so sure that giving her up would be for the best. But now that I have seen how much Peeta cares for her, I am not so sure anymore.

I should have told him immediately. I should have done more to reach out and tell him how much I love him. But I didn't. And it makes me think if he was right about me being selfish when I made the decision on the adoption.

While I sit on the hard uncomfortable brownish chair in Mr. Abernathys office, pity myself and have doubts about my own choices, Peeta is out there fighting to keep his trails hidden from the eyes of the law. In a way, I feel sorry for him. Sorry that he has to pay for my decision. The officer yells something but I am too far in my own thought to realize what the exact words are. Soon other police men, I recognize Marvel and Brutus who I got introduced to the first time I stepped my foot here. Others I have never before seen in my life. I turn my gaze down to my hands and twist the simple silver ring with a cheep diamond on in a shape of a primrose, around on my finger. My baby sister, Prim gave it to me as a good luck charm to when I preform on stage in the club I am working at.