A Famous Affair

A Famous Affair chapter 7

It has been two weeks since I met Jonny Riley. Sometimes my mind will still wander to ashamed thoughts of him, but I quickly distract myself. I cannot allow myself to ever think of him. Besides, life has kept me busy so I've had little time to dwell on things.

Since going to The Broadway Tower I have had two more business trips: one in Birmingham and the other in Manchester. I had to attend trade fairs and do some retail research whilst in the area, which for me, is one of my favourite parts of my job. I love walking around, checking out the weird and wonderful toy and gift shops hidden in many towns and cities. Some truly do manage to capture the magical wonderment of childhood fantasy.

Lydia had to stay back in the office, as we are incredibly busy at the moment. So I went alone, which I often do during the busy months of the year.

I'm currently planning for a trip to Bristol, in a few days, to attend a promotional trade fair. Lydia wants me to promote Magical Toys of Mason, to showcase a few of our products, and check out our competitors. Lydia needs to stay behind to monitor a big order coming in from overseas, so once again, I am going alone.

Often when I am home and not officially working, I like to research up and coming toys and gifts. Who is selling them and where? Most importantly, for how much? I'm passionate about what I do. It gives me a real buzz, something I have never felt before in a job. I never would have thought I would end up selling toys for a living. I was one of those dreamy girls who on the cusp of adulthood had no idea what she wanted to be when she grew up. My only interests at school were drama, PE, and English.

I had no desire to be an actress. I would have made a terrible gymnast. I loved English language and literature, but had no idea how to forge a career from it. In fact, the only thing I truly wanted to do; was sing. I knew I wasn't the greatest singer on the planet, but it made me happy doing it.

When I was a teenager, I actually remember telling a volunteer at Careers Advice that I was going to be a pop star. She stood there stony-faced and simply replied, "Really?" Sarcasm coated her one word, yet she had never even heard me sing. She never stopped to think that I really could be the next Mariah Carey. Instead, she chose to stamp upon any hopes and dreams that I had, and thoroughly enjoyed doing it, too! Okay, realistically, the chances of me ever making it as a pop star were pretty much zero, but would it have really killed her to have at least tried to encourage me in some way?

So just like that, my confidence was crushed. I quickly put the idea of becoming the next Madonna to bed. Jessica Neel was definitely NOT going to be a pop star.

Before marrying Shawn and having the girls, I tried my hand at a couple of short-lived jobs. One was working in a card shop, incredibly boring. The only highlight of my day was when friends popped in to see me, and using the till.

Then I worked as a support worker with adults who had learning difficulties. Much more rewarding and challenging, but when my mother died I stopped working. In fact, my life kind of stopped altogether.

Mum had cancer. From the day of her diagnosis to the day that she died, it took seven agonising months of watching the disease terrorise her mind, and ravage her body. I barely left her side. It was Shawn who was my rock throughout it all. When my darling mother took her last breath, I was with her, willing the one person who I loved more than anything to set herself free from the everyday hell that she was cocooned in. When Shawn came into the room, he knew she had gone. No words were said, yet he knew. I remember the warm relief Shawn's arms brought me against the intolerable pain of my own realisation that at the tender age of eighteen, my mum was no longer going to be in my life.

***

I'm at home on my laptop looking at all the different toy-shops in Bristol; the quirkier, the better, to visit during my trip. Shawn is busy in his study as he has a deadline to meet. I hear his footsteps coming down the stairs.