A Famous Affair

A Famous Affair chapter 27

When I enter our bedroom, I hear Jonny in the en suite. He's looking in the mirror, gently pressing some tissue against the cut on his brow bone. I stand behind him wrapping my arms around his naked waist, feeling good for doing so.

Jonny smiles at me in the mirror. "So, you're still talking to me, then?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" I ask, kissing his back.

"I thought you'd be angry?"

"You were trying to help and for that reason alone, I love you more than ever." I squeeze him tightly.

Jonny turns around to hold me in his arms. "I'm relieved that you don't hate me, Jessica. When Shawn hit me, all I kept thinking was that I fucked everything up."

I tilt my head with a serene smile. "I could never hate you, Jonny. What you did was the sweetest yet most ridiculous thing anyone has ever done for me."

His forehead meets mine. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to make things right."

I lightly brush my thumb across his lower lip. "You have nothing to apologise for. It's my problem, but thank you for trying."

His fingers now stroke my cheek. "Shawn still loves you."

I pull back. "Why do you say that?" I ask with a tense expression.

Jonny smiles. "I can see it in his eyes."

I grimace, shaking my head. "Well, he couldn't even look at me when I saw him." I shrug off his comment.

"That's because it's too painful for him to look at you." Jonny says, pulling me nearer to him.

I can't believe for one second that Shawn would still love me. Whatever I saw in Shawn's eyes, was definitely not love. I hold Jonny ridiculously tight, gaining comfort from his body against mine. "Beef said you let him hit you twice . . . why?" I ask, lifting my chin to look at him.

Jonny looks me in the eyes, a sadness veiling his own. "He's a man in bits, Jessica. To see for myself what I have done to him was hard. If hitting me makes him feel better, then it strangely makes me feel better," I pull his tortured face down to mine, my lips place feather light kisses over his sore cheek and eye. Jonny winces, pushing me back so we can talk. "Do you remember the night I found the bite marks on your birthday?"

I nod. "I will always remember that night, Jonny."

His hazel eyes bore into me, unblinking and sad. "I have never told you this, but the pain that I felt when I left you alone in that room was indescribable, Jessica. All the time that we were apart killed me inside. After a particularly bad day, I nearly called you. I was so fucking close to picking up that phone, just to hear your voice." Jonny looks at the phone beside the bed, before holding my face in his hands. "I was standing right here, looking at myself in this mirror. What I saw was the reflection of a destroyed man. I realised that if I picked up the phone, Shawn's image would one day be the reflection staring back at me. So I pushed away my own feelings because I thought I was doing the right thing by you and your husband." Jonny is now almost too choked for words. I stroke his face with one tender glide of my palm as I fight back my own tears. He closes his eyes to my loving touch, clearing his throat so he can continue. "Seeing Shawn today, took me right back to the day that I nearly called you. He now has the same hurt tattooed all over his face. I know how that feels and it's something I wouldn't wish on anyone. Letting him hit me was like hitting myself. It's really hard to live with yourself, Jessica, when you know you're the reason for someone else's pain. It's even worse when you know exactly how that pain feels. I know Shawn's pain. I have felt the very same because of my love for you."