Please, Stay.

chapter five//dont let go

an: it's one am and I'm really sad so get ready for a sad chapter

Josh

I was on Tyler's tumblr, and today I decided to go down further than I previously ever had. I was probably a year or so back when his happy posts stopped. His posts were all blue-black and sad. he had a few videos of him singing, and he was crying in some. he put so much emotion into every word and it upset me, seeing him so hurt. I felt tears stinging my eyes, begging to fall. I blinked a few times and kept going. These posts, they didn't stop. they kept going and going, and I came across something I didn't want to see. it was a message, written by Tyler, and it hurt to read. He was so broken, and I wanted to fix him. I wanted to hold him as he slept, hold him when he cried, hold him when he needed someone to hold on to. I wanted to be there for him, but I couldn't, I couldn't be there for him because he doesn't know me, wouldn't trust me, he would think it's a prank, but it wouldn't be. And I don't know how else to fix him, and that's all I wanted to do. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't notice Tyler had posted 2,5,7 times. I quickly scrolled up to the top, to see nothing but images so so similar as to what I was just looking at, and my heart dropped into my stomach when I saw the message Tyler had most recently posted.

goodbye, I'm sorry.

I saw it, and I burst into tears. I exited tumblr as fast as I could and opened kik.

spookyjim: Tyler?
spookyjim: Tyler please
spookyjim: please Tyler please don't do this I need you here don't do this

the messages delivered, but to no reply. oh, no. oh nonono. is all I could think. I couldn't live without Tyler, not seeing him everyday,it would be living hell. I couldn't live, I wouldn't be able to forget him, ever. I wanted to do nothing but run to Tyler's house and save him, but I couldn't. I cried, I cried and I didn't know what to do. I decided the best thing I could do was tell his parents. he might never want to talk to me again, but if I didn't, he might not be able to ever talk again. I picked up the phone and dialled the number. It rung three times before a groggy voice picked up.
"hello?" Said a voice, probably his mother.
"your son, Tyler, he's not okay he's going to kill himself please go help him" I managed to get out between sobs.
"oh, oh no." I heard his mom quietly say before ending the call. There was nothing I could do, except wait. Then the worries began.

what if I was too late?
what if I didn't call soon enough?
what if his mother didn't care and just ended the call to go back to sleep?
what if Tyler wasn't breathing?
what if-
"Josh?" my father had entered the room, I must've been crying too loudly.
"i-I'm sorry" Is all I could manage to get out.
"Josh what's the matter?"
"n-n-nothing."
he knew I wasn't going to talk to him, so he gave up and went back to his room. I couldn't bring myself to sleep, not after what happened. So I lied awake, thinking of only the worst, and eventually I was taken by sleep.

an: this is a little over 600 words go me. No one reads these so I honestly don't know why I update it tbh.