Please, Stay.

chapter six// goodbye

an: this picture?! I have been blessed (this is last chapter from Tyler's perspective) also guess who's sad again get ready for sad chapter.

Tyler

i said goodbye to Josh, knowing damn well I wouldn't be asleep anytime soon. I started thinking, when a voice interrupted.
worthless, it said.
you're a pathetic piece of shit and nobody cares about you. Everyone hates you. You're fat and ugly, it was taunting me.
I ignored it, the best you could ignore a voice inside your own head. I pulled out my notebook, and did what I do best when I was sad, I wrote. I sprawled the words "Prove me wrong" at the top and started writing.
I don't know
where I am supposed to go
so I might just
take my pride and go
some people, they know, know everything
but I know that they don't know my heart

Cause I, oh yeah, I believe in love
and I hope I can show you what I mean
and I don't believe loves for me,
so won't you come around and prove me wrong.

(an: prove me wrong fucks me up)

I had to stop writing because my vision became blurry, tears welled up in my eyes. I blinked a few times, ignoring them. I was broken. I knew this yet I ignored it, not wanting to tell anyone, not even Josh. All I wanted right now was for someone to hold me while I slept, while I cried, to hold me when I needed someone to hold on to. But I knew that would never happen. I eventually became so tired and sad that I decided to actually make this a song, since I was in the basement nobody would hear me.
I sat down at my "studio" a chair, piano, and recording microphone. I began to play the piano, and let the words come out of my mouth.
After the first chorus, I kept going, just letting it happen.

won't walk the world
any different
and my path won't change until you make a wall and make me fall
and break me down
I don't know, no, I don't know
if I wrote this song in vain,
vain, in vain.
oh yeah,
and I- oh, yeah I
believe in love
and I hope I can show you what I mean and I don't believe lo-
tears were falling much to heavily for me to continue.
fucking pathetic, can't even finish a song. the voice said.
I didn't know what to do. Josh was sleeping. so I opened tumblr and went under the- I looked at the time. it was 1:57 am.
where did it go? I asked myself, resuming my typing. Whenever I got depressed, I go under the sad tag. I don't know why, as it only makes things worse. If only Josh was here, he makes me happy. I scrolled along the tags, seeing people similar to me. I reblogged a couple of posts before the voice became overwhelming, telling me so many things and I believed them all. I was worthless. I was fat, ugly, and useless. Finally the emotion took over and I found myself walking upstairs into the kitchen, where we kept our medicine. I pulled out a bottle of sleeping pills and dumped them out into my hand. I quickly pulled out my phone, and saw that Josh had texted me. I ignored it, opening tumblr instead, to type

goodbye, I'm sorry.

I dropped my phone and took the pills, one by one, feeling them go to work, making me sleep, forever. As I feel to the ground, the last thing I heard was my mother screaming, and I took my last breath.

an: that's the end! thanks for reading!

jk