Please, Stay.

chapter nine// hell

an: it's been...a while. sorry
-
Tyler

I woke up in a bright room, with people screaming.
so, hell is different then I imagined. I thought to myself.
The screaming became louder, and I saw a boy with bright red hair get ushered out of the room,
"what's going on?" I ask to the many people in the room, but I'm ignored.
the yelling continued, people telling people to do this, get that, bring those. I try to remember where I am. the last thing I remember is my mother.. was she crying? the memories were faded. I was brought out of my thoughts when a person was yelling at me.
"Tyler? Tyler!"
I answered the person in front of me, by giving them a look. The next several minutes were this person asking me questions, and me coming to realize what I did, and where I am. The doctor asked me to recall the memory of that night.

"I didn't remember much, but I did remember Josh. We were talking and then he had to go, so I started getting upset. I got sad and went on to tumblr maybe? it made me more upset so I wrote a song. then the voices were overwhelming" I told the doctor. She nodded and told me to continue. "The voices.. became too loud. So I went upstairs and took pills. I don't remember what, or how many, but I think it was a lot. I really wanted to die. Then I fell down and heard my mom yelling before I fell asleep." I finished the story and the doctor nodded again and got up.
"We're gonna have to run some tests, okay Tyler?"
I nodded yes and let her do whatever. The first test was a blood test, she took a needle and drew some blood from my arm, right above some self harm scars. She ran her thumb over them and gave me a sad smile. This doctor seemed nice. I looked at her name tag, Jenna, a pretty name for a pretty girl. But I was gay, so fuck that. We ran some more tests, and I was told I would be here for a few more days, but family and friends can visit tomorrow. Then Jenna left me alone, and another doctor came in, his name was brendon. I guess he was the therapy guy, because he just asked me a bunch of stupid questions like "why'd you do it?"
"would you do it again?"
"have you done it in the past?"
all that shit.
By the end of the day, I was starving, needed to pee, and wanted to sleep. I asked Jenna for a snack next time she stopped by, and she brought me a pb&j, which was better than nothing I suppose. I ate the food, and settled into the uncomfortable hospital bed. I thought about what I had missed, what was happening in school, when I remembered my music project. I wanted to get back to school right now to work on it, but I was stuck in this stupid hospital, alone. I laid down and tried to sleep, but ended up examining the room instead. Baby blue walls, bright white lights, lots of machines, the bed,and me.
Not much followed in the next few days. I fell into the routine of the hospital after a few days. Wake, eat, be alone, eat, be alone, sleep.
My mom was supposed to visit me the day after I woke up, but then the doctors said she wasn't allowed for some medical reasons. I was lonely, and only saw the. doctors if they were testing me or feeding me. mainly my thoughts were on Josh, wondering if he was okay, and how school was going. I missed him, talking to him was always so nice. I hope I get out soon, they said a few days and it's already been three. I asked for my phone, or at least my notebook a few times, but they wouldn't let me have it, for whatever reason. Then a nurse came in, Jenna, and told me my mom would be visiting this afternoon. That made me happy, as I couldn't wait to see her. I missed her, but it made me sad knowing it would only be her, and no one else. I nodded and gave her a small thank you, then waiting until she left, to go to the bathroom. The bathroom was small, but I guess it worked. I had only showered one while I was here, and even after I still felt disgusting. I left the room and sat on my bed, only having a few more hours until my mom would be in to visit me. I lied down, waiting for her.
I sat up when I heard the door open, and I looked up to see a boy with bright red hair, mocha eyes, and crystal smile that could light up Times Square.
"Josh?"

an: this chapter took me 2 weeks to writing jesus fuck. I've been in a bad place and not been able to update so I apologize. Thank you to the 150 some people who've read this, and the 480 who've read my smut book. have a good day/night/afternoon/life.