Porcelain Skin (NOW ON AMAZON KU)

38. Do You Love Him?

I'm still in a memory daze, staring at a patch of carpet with a suspicious stain on it when suddenly I'm being shoved in the back. I land with a thud directly on the soft, discolored flooring. I roll over, glaring at the perpetrator.

"What was that for?"

Lindsey only shrugs in response, while holding back an annoying grin. She's sitting innocently on my bed where she's just shoved me to the floor. I hoist myself up onto my knees and then groan my way into a standing position. You'd think I was some arthritically crippled eighty-year-old with the noises rumbling from my throat. I'd gone for an extra long run this morning and it had played a huge toll on my delicate bones.

"So, we were discussing the plan before your mind took a hike to Mars," Lindsey says while plucking her brows using a small compact mirror.

I'm wondering if I should be grossed out by the fact that all those stray eyebrow hairs are finding a home in my blankets, but I can't be bothered to say anything. Besides, I've already slept in dirt two nights in a row; I don't think eyebrows will hurt me.

"Right," I say, shaking some energy into my limbs. Lindsey shoots me a worried look, and I realize I probably look like I'm having a seizure. I pull myself together and try to focus. "Uh, okay, so plastic wrap has been used, hair in food has been used, air horn—used, dirt in sheets—used. What else is there?" I sigh dramatically. I'm way too tired for this.

"Really?" Lindsey lifts her brows in disapproving shock. "That's the best you guys have done?" She returns to her brows. "Have you tried the internet? They've got tons of ideas."

"Okay." I turn towards my desk and pluck my computer from the surface before launching myself onto my bed. I nearly take out Lindsey's head in the process. Flipping open my laptop, I instantly begin my search. There are a couple minutes of silence as I hunt for the world's most fantastic prank, and then I feel Lindsey eyeing me.

"Are you ever going to tell me what happened between you and Trevor?" She's giving me her puppy-dog face, and let me tell you, her puppy-dog face blows. Like, it literally makes me want to slap her. I turn my lip up at her in disgust, laughing at her failed attempt. She huffs before getting to work on her brows again. We return to silence for a moment as I contemplate how to tell her.

"He surprised me," I begin, and immediately snag her attention.

She sits up and crosses her legs while watching me eagerly.

"I always thought he was so innocent and inexperienced with life, ya know?" I don't give her a chance to respond before I continue. "He was always friendly and outgoing. I never saw him say an unkind word to anyone. He treated everyone equally as if the outward appearance didn't even faze him. I remember being in awe that he could overlook what no one else could." I run a finger over my bottom lip and relax my back against the wall.

"I always admired the guy he was in high school," I say, "but at the same time, I always thought that he was that way just because his life was perfect. There was no baggage pulling him down." I scratch my left eyelid. I get fidgety when I have to express emotions. "I was wrong. He's got his hidden pain. He just chose to deal with it better than I did." I pause for a moment, quiet settling over us.

"What happened?" she asks quietly.

I glance at her, debating over whether or not I should reveal it to her, and decide it wouldn't hurt. "His best friend died."

I see the surprise clear on Lindsey's face, and I'm wondering if I should have kept my mouth shut. I decide that's all I'm willing to say. If Trevor wanted people to know about his past he wouldn't have hidden it from everyone. I'm wondering if Chuck even knows if Lindsey didn't. As siblings, I'd think they would have shared a conversation or two about something like this.