There we sat in the schoolyard, Fluffy, Kayd, myself and Priv who luckily had his week off of Monitor duty.
Lowkey, Fluff and Kayd tossed around a bottle of booze and munched away at space cookies while Priv and I shook our heads in fervent disappointment.
"Guys, let's play 1 to 10," Kayd suggested.
"Fuck no," I sighed.
"Yeah, let's play," Fluffy added as Priv nodded in agreement.
Allow me to explain. 1 to 10 is one of the group's favourite games to play. This game is pretty simple. See a girl, rate her. That's how it works. Anyways, the game started.
Dianne walked past. She was one of my earlier crushes. When I met Kayd, it was surprising to discover that she used to be one of his flings. To this day, whenever I see her I can't help but look at him and say one thing. "Smash Bros."
"Fuck you," he grunted.
"Buy me a drink, first, at least."
"I give her a 7," Fluffy rated nonchalantly.
"What the fuck?" Kayd and I asked in unison.
"She's just overrated, guys."
Priv leaned in and looked at Fluff from over his specs. "Bruh, she's probably getting more ratings than Big Bang Theory."
"Big Bang indeed," Kayd mumbled as his eyes filled with sensual fantasies.
"Shit! Look away," Fluffy hollered as he buried his face in his hands.
"Why the fu- Oh, shit! Dela is coming!"
Dela had the shape of a cow and a face that looked as though she were the mother of at least two kids. Sadly, she had tried to get in the pants of every member of my social group at least once until we all blocked her on every social media account we had going and made sure to keep our distance from her at all times.
"Give it a zero!" Priv cried.
"Negative 27!" I corrected as I dived to the floor.
She passed by and we managed to avoid the explosion of our eyes as she did. Indiana Jones type of shit. Remember the one where they had to shield their eyes so their flesh wouldn't be melted by that weird artifact? Dela was the artifact.
Next up. Shit. Kelly. Kelly, Kelly, Kelly. Not only was she beautiful but she had an ass, too! Why fucking Kelly? See recently, I went through a phase in which I fell for her. I failed miserably but I wasn't too sour over it. A loss is a loss, after all. Funny enough, she has a thing for Kayd. Him and I are always ending up in situations like these.
"Hey, Ed, how much?" Priv asked as he nudged me in the shoulder.
"Yeah, bruh, how much?" Kayd followed up in his cockiest tone possible.
"Motherfuckers," I mumbled.
"Yeah, yours is next," Priv chuckled right before I hit him in the forehead with a pebble that was lying nearby.
"Hahaha! That pebble is harder than your dick," said Fluffy as he took a bite from his sandwich.
"At least he has one," Kayd muttered, to raucous screaming and cheering by Priv and myself.
"Looks like it's Priv's turn," I laughed. Hope had walked by and it was time to rate. "Seven, borderline eight, I reckon."
"Eddy, you're a dick," he replied.
"I guess that's why I'm fucking with a pussy," I winked.
"Cool. 50 words in my hand by tomorrow morning. Written out from the dictionary." I groaned in dispute. "No complaints or I double it," he grinned.
"Dictionary? Emphasis on dick," I said as I covered my mouth with my hand.
"That's why he's fucking with such a pussy," Kayd and Fluff screamed.
"50 words for you guys, too!"
The groans and muffled complaints spread further to those two jerks' mouths.
Next up was Sasha. Her slender legs and frizzy hair were pretty stunning on her.
"She's not too bad," Priv began. "A solid 8."
"Please leave," Fluffy sighed.
"What did I do?"
"Fam, you're off duty and you're still handing out punishment? You're addicted to your job," Kayd explained.
"Sasha gets a 9," I quickly inserted, changing the topic as nonchalantly as possible. Then the bell rang. "Game over, gents. Let's go."
"Fuck, Crawley is gonna shit on me," Fluff sighed.
"You didn't do your homework again, right?" Priv asked.
Fluffy nodded in acknowledgement as we all laughed on our way to class.
----------
School was up for the week. Crawley issued Fluff with an extra 50 so he sat on a total of 100. I decided I'd go over to Kayd's for the afternoon since I was bored out of my mind. I had big news to tell him. Something pretty cool had happened after the final bell rang and I thought he'd he'd be interested in knowing.
I knocked firmly on the door as a hollered "Open up, you son of a bitch!"
I was met by his mother.......
"Um, Mrs Stark. I'm really sorry about that! I'm, like, a shit ton sorry!"
"It's okay," she assured me. "Just remember that your mother's a cunt."
I laughed as she let me in and immediately made my way for Kayd's room. I was destined to fuck his shit up.
"Kayd!" He immediately responded by throwing a pillow at my face. I staggered at how unexpected it was. "Dick..."
"Nigga, what makes you decide to just show up at my house?"
"Kayd, you and I are one. If you live here, I live here, too. We're wombmates, bitch."
"No, we aren't!"
"Everyone thinks we're the same person so yes we are," I grinned. "We shoulda been twins but shit fucked up."
"Why the fuck are you here?"
"Cause I got good news, homie!"
Kayd shifted in his chair, leaning forward and resting his chin on his hand. "I'm waiting..."
"Well," I began. "After the final bell, Kelly decided to come and talk to me."
"Why the fuck are you still insistent with the whole relationship thing? Embrace your inner fuckboy," he sighed.
"I'm not like you, asshole. You and Sage might wanna tear up some ass on an hourly basis but I don't believe in shit like that," I explained. "Like I was saying, we got to talking and I asked her if she wanted to hang out or some junk like that. The usual."
"It's okay, rejection is always the hardest part but I know you'll get ov-"
"Shut up," I interrupted. Sighing heavily, I continued my explanation. "She said she'd go so her and I are going out pretty soon."
"Is it a date?"
I scratched my head and laughed slightly. "Not really but I'll get there, soon enough."
Kayd sighed as he stood from his seat and made way for the door. "Listen, don't focus on that shit, now. Let's go jam Destiny."
"You're on. I'm gonna rek you, bitch."
We laughed as we went to fuck up each others shit.
